Kulthum called Ammi in the morning while she was still in her Nursing home. Kulthum called me right after. She seemed very happy and overjoyed. Khushi may moo say jaisay alfaz nahi nikal rahay thay. Kehnay lagi kay Ammi nay bahut achi tarah baat ki aur thoray hi jumlon may jaisay woh aapas may ghul mil say gaye. All in all that was a good phone call but I still had to talk to Ammi. She was good at hiding emotions so it could be that she was nice to Kulthum but in reality the story was something else. I called Ammi that night and asked her how was her phone conversation with Kulthum. Ammi was happy. She literally said that Inshallah Allah will make it happen for you and her and she said that she is razi for her. And she said that she will talk to Abu about it.
Ammi spoke to Abu but Abu was passive as he always said that he would not object if Ammi was ok it with it but there was something bothering him. He would have still preferred it if I married in Pakistan. You know although Abu said it and although I know he really meant well for me but I kept telling myself that once Kulthum comes to home, she will change Abus opinions. So you can say that I downplayed Abus concerns.
Ammi spoke to Kulthum 2 or 3 times after that and Ammi asked her questions about what kind of wedding would she want and all the women stuff and asking her what kind of gift she would want. This was not going to be a typical Pakistani wedding and it wont be a traditional Indonesian wedding. So mutually we agreed that we want it a simple Islamic marriage so we dont burden our families. Abu was still not sure about all that was going on. He kept asking me to change my mind. I kept saying to him Abu, I feel that this is willed from Allah. Abu said you are moving too fast. This is not how these things are carried out. Then he would keep quiet.
On the other hand, Kulthum and I would chat all night (my night) because she would come to internet cafe after her university was done and would spend the entire time there until the person would ask her to leave because they had to close the cafe. We discussed about everything. It was now the middle of my third year and courses were getting very hard. I had many labs to go to and then assignments all night and chat. There was hardly any sleep. Another thing that I started to do. Any money that I used to save, I started buying phone cards and would call long hours and speak to Kulthum after the internet cafe would close down. This was going out of control now. I started to pay more attention to her..even in the school, I would not really spend my time with friends, but rather go to the computer lab to send her an email. The thought of her had completely overtaken my senses. Kuch aur karnay ko soojhta hi nahi tha. I started to get worried if my grades would start to get affected. I reduced the number of tuitions that I used to teach just so that I can talk to her more. Everything was just so fluid and out of control. I started to feel the aches in the heart because I would want to know what is she doing now? What did she eat? Like everything was about her. My friends could feel it too. Honestly, now when I think it was ridiculous. But I guess thats how it is when you are in love. You just ignore the whole world and focus on that one person. That one person, if they tell you that the world is flat, you would actually reason with your mind that it could be flat. Kulthum would send me stuff in the parcel, like cross stitch with Surah Rahman ayah on it. Or she would send me cards reminding me of Allah or she would make these small crafts like keychains. It was always a surprise from her. Once she sent me an art work and it was wrapped in a piece of cloth, a brown cloth with print on it… kabhi kabhar jab koi suit ka kapra bach jata hay, us tarah ka kapra. When I opened the art work, I smelled that cloth and my heart would say this is her smell. Can you imagine if the person you love so much, you are able to smell them. This was the closest I could get to her. I could have been wrong but my heart said it was her. When I chatted with her that day, I asked what was the cloth she wrapped it in. She said couldnt find anything so she ripped one of her old shirts and wrapped it in. She started apologizing that she didnt wrap it in a new cloth and in my head I was like… how would i have smelled you otherwise. I still have that brown cloth from her shirt...
