I started to make plans on how to break this to my parents first. Ammi was easy to talk to. Abu, on the other hand, I dont know if he would really feel my heart but he had to know. I couldnt do it without Abu giving me his blessings. I also didnt want Kulthum to start building high hopes from me if at the end my parents didnt agree to this, so this had to be done fast.
I used to write letters to Ammi as this way I could explain everything to her in detail and as I said phone call used to be very expensive in those days [I think it was $3.75 per min]. Even if I got a chance to talk to Ammi on phone I couldnt really talk to her heart to heart. So I decided that I should explain everything to her in the letter and then Ammi can talk to Abu when she sees the right time.
I want to say that one of my extra-curricular on campus was that I was involved with MSA (Muslim Students Association). Almost all universities in canada have an MSA and their main purpose is to connect all the muslim students on campus and arrange various activities particularly during Ramadan and Eid times. Most of these students miss their families at this time of the year and MSA provides them a platform to sit together, share stories, recite Quran together, pray together. Our university also had some muslim students and we tend to meed atleast once a week. One of those students was Dito Prasetianto. Dito was from Indonesia. He belonged to a rich family and had alot more money to spend than most of us. Dito and I were close because we occasionally used to hang around and I used to help him in mathematics. I told Dito about Kulthum and as expected it he teased me for a long time. I guess some things are same in every culture and boys are boys. Anyways, he said that he wants to speak to Kulthum and he can help me connect with her parents. I was hesitant because he belonged to a very rich family in Jakarta and Kulthum’s family was from a poor family in Sumatera. Anyways, Dito did speak to her and his views about her were similar to mine that she seemed like a good person to him and he promised me that whenever I need help to speak to her parents, he will help me. Language is a big problem in Indonesia because majority of the people either speak Indonesian or Dutch and then there are some who speak Japanese. Rarely people speak English. So even if I wanted to speak to Kulthum’s parents at some point I would need somebody's help and basically Dito was that help.
A couple of days later, early in the morning, Ammi called me. Ammi never did that, she always would ask Abu to send me an email. But she called me. I was surprised and worried that what happened. Ammi said I have good news for you. I am like Ji Ammi khairiat hay? She said Aunty Sabeeha came and she talked about her daughter Manal for you. What do you think?
Aunty Sabeeha was Ammis friend and our families were not that close so I didnt know how this could happen. I said, Ammi aap nay kia kaha? Ammi said.. Kia kehti… yahi kay yeh meray betay ka decision hay. In my heart, I was like.. Phew! Then I said, Ammi can I talk about this in my letter to you? So I can talk freely. Ammi said, Kiyoun koi pasand hay? Ya wahan shadi kar to nahi li? I was like… nahi ammi shadi aisay to thori na kar sakta hoon. May aap ko khat likhoon ga. Ammi kehti hain… aur khat anay say pehlay main marr gayee to? I was like.. Allah na karay… Aap aisi batain kiyoun karti hain… Kehnay lageen.. Bas itna batao koi pasand hay…phir phone rakhti hoon aur khat ka intezar karoongi. Then I said, Ji.. hay ek lekin saari details khat may bataonga. Ammi kehti hay.. Tu wahan parhai karnay gaya hay ya in chakron may parnay.. I said… Ammi mera result acha tha na… to parhai hi kar raha hoon lekin zindagi may jab aisa kuch ho to rok to nahi sakta na may. Ammi - Naraz kiyoun hota hay tang kar rahi hoon. Keh kar Ammi nay salaam kia aur phone rakh diya.
Dil ko ek sukoon sa hua kay Ammi to meray dil ki baat samajh hi jayegi. Abu on the other hand, he is very sensitive to these things and he may not really like it. If he didnt agree, that would be the end of it. Us din saara din may ammi ko khat likhta raha. Lamba sa khat. Sab bataya Kulthum kay baray may. Saari kahaniyan aur kaisi hay us ki nature aur kitna khayal rakhnay wali hay. Bus bahut makhan lagaya ammi ko. Saath yeh bhi kaha, agar abu na manain to aap fikar na karna, phir wohi karoonga jo aap dono ka faisla ho ga lekin aap mujhay apna faisla jald bata dena kiyounkay may Kulthum ko koi high hopes nahi dena chahta.
Mera ek bachpan ka dost hay Asad. Asad aur may Class 1 kay pehlay din kay best friends hain. Class 8 may mainay Senior Cambridge kay liye opt kia to us nay Matric kay liye. Bahut mehnti aur laiq dost tha. Pindi Board may 3rd position this matric may. Asad aur meray darmiyan bhaiyon jaisa rishta hay. Har achay buray waqt kay sathi. Lagay hathon ek khat Asad ko bhi likh dala jo un dino Bahria Colledge may parh raha tha.
Kulthum ko bataya kay mainay Ammi ko sab kuch bata diya hay ab dekho ammi kia kehti hain. Kulthum kay liye shayad woh din mushkil din thay. Har roz poochti kay Ammi say baat hui? Abu nay kuch kaha? May bus yahi kehta kay Allah say dua karo. Lekin uski to halat aisay jaisay -
عقل گم ہے دل پریشاں ہے نظر بیتاب ہے
جستجو سے بھی نہیں ملتا سراغ زندگی
