Kon hay tu - Part 16

 Phir maheenay guzartay gaey...roz kay jhagray mamool ban gaey thay.. May har waqt stress may rehnay lag para tha.. Mujhay sukoon milta tha haleema kay saath khel kay. Kulthum ki aur cheezain bhi mujhay bother karnay lag pari theen. Kitchen may bartan jama ho jaatay thay jo do teen din baad mujhay dhonay partay thay… mailay kapron ka anbaar lag jaata.. Pata nahi kia ho gaya tha. Shayad us kay dil may meray liye ab woh pyar nahi tha jo shadi say pehlay tha. Maynay to apni zindagi kabhi us kay baghair nahi sochi thi. Us ki kuch aadtaon say mujhay uljhan thi phir bhi yeh khayal kabhi dil may nahi aaya kay meri zindagi us kay baghair bhi ho sakti hay. 

Haleema ab do saal ko honay ko thi. Meri company kay tamam projects is province may taqreeban khatm hi honay walay thay. Boss nay kaha kay hum ab Canada may projects continue nahi karengay to tum meray saath Saudia chalo. May saudia move nahi hona chahta tha. Saudia jaanay ka matlab tha bilkul nai jaga, naya culture aur language sab say bara masla. Mujhay to arbi say lagao tha per kulthum ko to bahut mushkil ho jati. May nay us ki offer refuse kar di. Ab phir say job ki search karni thi. Halal meat ka kaam ab bhi ghar say kar raha tha to socha kay isi tarah ka koi apna kaam karna hay. Tab mujhay pata chala kay Saint John jo qareeb hi ek shahr tha, wahan koi Halal meat shop nahi thi. Community bari thi aur shehr ziyada door bhi na tha. Kulthum aur may pehlay Saint John eid per do teen dafa aai thay aur hum dono ko yahan ki masjid aur log achay lagay thay. Istikhara kia aur Saint John move honay ka irada kar liya. 

Saint John may ek ghar karaye per liya, jo kay fredericton walay apartment say bahut bara tha. Us ghar kay saath ek garage tha jis ko modify karkay ek choti si shop bananay ka irada tha. Meat kay ilawa doosri grocery bhi rakhni thi. Choonkay ghar residential zone may tha is liye wahan legally dukan bananay ki ijazat nahi thi. Hum nay socha kay hum ek website banaingay aur log website say orders place karaingay aur may un ko delivery karoonga. Aajkal yeh bahut common hay per 2007 may yeh ek naya idea tha. Kulthum bhi is may excited thi. Lekin is sab ko karnay kay liye paisa kahan say aaiga. Yeh tha million dollar question jis kay jawaab kay liye dimagh may 1000 ideas aatay thay. 

Mera ek dost tha, Babar,  jis ki Fredericton may grocery ki dukan thi. May Halal meat us ki dukan per bhi supply karta tha. Us say baat ki kay Saint John may main ek aisi hi dukan banana chahta hoon lekin capital investment kay liye paisa chahye. Babar nay kaha cash to may nahi day sakta haan itni help kar sakta hoon kay tumhain apni dukan say inventory day doon. Phir tum aahista aahista us ka paisa chuka dena. This was just brilliant for me. May aisi hi kisi deal ki talash may tha. Babar nay is silsilay may bahut help ki aur initial inventory ka bandobast kar diya. May nay garage per ek do workers laga kar shelf waghaira lagwa liye.. Kuch deep freezers rakhay aur alhamdulillah choti si ek dukan set ho gaee. Phir Gul kay saath mil kar website develope ki aur masjid say start liya. Masjid may annoucement karwai aur logon ki emails ikathi keen. Kartay kartay indian pakistani community may business kay charchay ho gaey. Waisay mainay yeh business baqaida taur per register karwa rakha tha. Community ka response bahut acha tha. Log products say bahut khush thay. Kulthum meray saath saath kaam karti. Waisay kulthum lazy nahi thi.. Jis kaam ki thaan lay woh karti zimmadari say thi. Choonkay ab meri koi aur job na thi to may concentrate kar sakta tha farm per jaana aur Halal meat ko regularly available rakhna. Babar kay saath bhi ek setting ho gaee thi… jab woh apni dukan kay liye samaan order karta to may bhi us may apna order add kar deta. Is tarah hum dono ko wholesalers say achay rate mil jaatay. 

Is kaam ki wajah say mere paas kuch extra time hota jo may community may volunteer karta. Saturday aur Sunday ko kuch bachay hamaray ghar Quran parhnay aatay. Kulthum nay choonkay Quran proper tareeqah say madrassay say bhi parha tha is liye woh bhi bachion ko Quran parhati. Yeh hamari ek volunteer activity thi. Phir ek din kulthum nay kaha keh woh ek program join  karna chahti hay. Yeh program Public Health walon ki taraf say hay jis may koi professional hamaray ghar aai ga aur haleema ki growth assessment karay ga. Mujhay is qisam ki cheezon may ziyada dilchaspi nahi thi aur may kulthum say koi jhagra nahi karna chahta tha...khuda khuda kar kay to ab hamaray jhagray kam huay thay. May nay kaha theek hay. 

Linda jo kay ek social worker thi, umar may hum say bahut bari thi, woh hamaray ghar aana shroo hui. Woh haleema kay saath mukhtalif activities karti aur phir weekly reports bana kar deti. Waisay to yeh program govt ka tha lekin mujhay samajh nahi aati thi kay linda hamari family may itni dilchaspi kiyoun leti hay. Kulthum, Linda say bahut impressed thi aur us ki bahut aao bhagat karti thi. Kai dafa to woh apas may gappain lagati rehti theen. Mujhay feel hua shayad kulthum apni friends ko miss karti hay aur is tarah Linda ki soorat may us ko ek nai dost mil gayee hay. Ghar ka mahol bahut behtar ho chuka tha. Mujhay yeh bhi mehsoos hua kay agar hamara kaam aisay chalta raha aur kulthum meray saath kaam karti rahi to is say behtar koi job ho nahi sakti. Saara din ikathay bhi rahain gay aur kaam bhi chalta rahay ga. Mujhay lag raha tha kay ab halaat behtri ki taraf jaingay. 

Khabar mili kay Faisal south Africa say Mariam kay saath wapas aa raha hay. Us nay Alim ka course complete kia tha aur woh kuch arsa Mariam kay Abu Ammi kay paas aa raha tha. May nay Faisal say kaha kay mujhay bhi milnay aao..ab to 6,7 saal ho gaey hain tujhay dekhay. Us nay kaha Mariam ko lay kar Saint John aaiga. Main nay Kulthum ko kaha Faisal aur Mariam hamaray mehmaan hongay. Kulthum ko yeh baat achi na lagi. Pata nahi kiyoun, halaankay woh to Mariam ko kabhi mili bhi nahi thi. Phir wohi hua jis ka darr tha. Jab Faisal aur Mariam aai to us ka Mariam say jhagra hua. Baat kuch bhi nahi thi, bahut mamuli sa issue tha. Mujhay Faisal kay aagay bahut sharam aai. Faisal kehta raha koi baat nahi bari behn hay..ghussa kar diya to kia hua. Mariam umar may kulthum say bahut choti thi is liye woh to agay say kuch na boli magar us din kay baad un ki apas may kabhi na bani. Woh log ek hafta reh kar wapas Montreal chalay gaey.

Under hi Under mujhay itna ghussa aa raha tha kay Kulthum ki is harkat nay mera mazaq urwaya aur Faisal kay aagay mujhay sharminda hona para. Mainay us ko confront kia to woh wapas usi mood may aa gaeey. Cheekhna chilana aur kehna kay main to Mariam ki side loonga kiyounkeh woh meray bhai ki biwi hay. May nay kaha may kisi ki side nahi lay raha per jo tum nay ghar aai mehman kay saath kiya kia woh sahi tha. Us ka jawab tha.. Whatever..

Yeh mujh say bardasht na hua. May nay us ko bazoo say pakra aur ghussay may kaha kay apni hadd may raho. Har baat bardasht kay qabil nahi hoti. Agar tum apni hadd may na rahi to mera ghazab dekho gi. Us nay kuch kaha nahi per us ki aankhon may mujhay woh sholay nazar aai kay agar us kay bass may us waqt hota to mujhay jala deti. Yeh keh kar may wahan say chala gaya. Kulthum ka yeh bhi ek record hi raha hay kay aaj tak us nay mujh say kabhi kisi cheez ki maafi nahi maangi. Yeh to may hi kambakht tha kay ghussa utarnay kay baad dil ko bahut bura lagta aur ja kar us ko mana leta aur maafi bhi maang leta halankay ghalti bhi mujhay usi ki lagti thi.

Kon hay tu - Part 15

 Haleema kay hamari zindagi may aatay hi bahut ronaq lag gaee. Ghar may ek aur fard aa gaya jis ki apni hi demands hoti theen. Kai dafa to may office say ghar bhi jaldi jaata tha Haleema ko dekhnay kay liye. Bahut dafa to woh so rahi hoti thi aur may us ko dekhta rehta tha. Kulthum bahut ziyada attached thi haleema say aur bahut shoq say us ka khayal rakhti thi. Lekin Haleema ki wajah say woh bahut thak jaati thi kiyounkay raaton ko uthna parhta tha aur kai dafa to woh Haleema ko doodh pila rahi hoti per khud soo rahi hoti thi. Mujhay feel to bahut hota tha per may kia kar sakta tha. Phir sochta tha bas thora time guzray aur woh bari ho jaye to sab theek ho jayega. Ek aur masla jo mainay note kia woh yeh tha keh Kulthum bahut chirchiri hoti jaa rahi thi.. Choti choti baat per jhagarna shroo kar deti thi. Jab Haleema kay saath hoti thi to bahut calmed down hoti thi per mujh say thori si baat kartay hi kisi baat per larna shroo kar deti thi. May amooman apni aadat kay mutabiq doosray kamray may chala jaata ya kisi kaam may masroof kar leta. Lekin us ki yeh nai adat mujhay ander hi ander bahut disturb kar rahi thi. Dimagh kehta tha kay us ko khayal rakhna chaye apni hadd ko jo bar bar meray aagay cheekhna shroo kar deti hay per dil kehta kay shayad neend poori nahi hoti to is wajah say us kay mizaj may itna chirchira pan aa gaya hay.

May kabhi kabhi long drive per lay jaata dono ko taakay mahol badlay. Taqreeban saara province dikha diya tha Kulthum ko… sari country side. Bahut say yahan rehnay walon nay bhi woh ilaqay na dekhay hongay. Haleema ka aqeeqa pooray dil laga kar kiya. May nay khud do dumbay zibah kiye thay aur doston kay saath mil kar bbq kia… saari community kay mardon ko bulaya us bbq per. Ek haftay baad community ki aurton ki alag gathering ki aur bahut saara khana banwaya taakay kum na ho.. Taqreeban 400 kay qareeb log hongay. Yeh meri haleema ki qismat thi kay aqeeqa itna shandar hua aur Allah nay kulthum aur mujhay karnay ki taufeeq di.

Haleema kay aanay ki wajah say kulthum ko apni job bhi chorni pari. Ab saara ghar chalanay ki zimmadari meri thi. May kuch paisay abhi bhi Abu ko bhejta tha taakay ammi ka qarza utar sakay. Phir woh paisay bhaijna bhi band ho gaey kiyounkeh apnay ghar ka hi poora nahi ho pa raha tha. May nay kulthum say mashwara karna chaha kay ghar ki income kaisay barhai ja sakti hay. Abhi itna hi kaha to woh bigar gaee kay may us ko yahan is liye laya hoon taakay us ko kaam karwa sakoon. Phir chup ho gaya. Yahi socha kay woh kehti to theek hay, yeh karna to mujhay hi hay. Job kay saath saath may nay Halal meat ka kaam shroo kia. Yahan choti jaga honay ki wajah say Halal meat bahut mushkil say milta tha. Ek libya ka dost tha jis nay mujhay bakra aur gaye zibah karna sikhai thi. Bus dil may aaya kay maheenay may ek dafa farm per ja kar kuch jaanwar zibah kar loon aur gosht kay packet butcher say banwa kar freeze kar loon. Phir jis ko jitna chahye woh ghar say baichoon. Is kay do faiday thay. Ghar ka gosht ka masla bhi hal ho jayega aur kuch paisay bhi ban jaingay. Kulhum say poocha woh is may saath daygi. Us nay haami bhar li. 

Yeh kaam physically bahut exhausting tha per mujhay kuch na kuch to karna tha. Shroo may to kaam theek gaya phir kabhi kabhar customer ki complaint aa jati. Customers kay saath kulthum khud hi phone per deal karti thi kiyounkay may to office may hota tha. Customers hamaray community kay hi musalman thay jin ko hum jaantay hi thay. Complaint aati to kulthum ko bahut bura lagta aur jaisay woh customer us ki bad books may aa jata. Tab may nay feel kiya kay kulthum dil may rakhi baat kabhi bhulati nahi hay. Jaisay english may kahawat hay Forgive and Forget.. Kulthum bilkul us kay ulat thi. Us ko har baat yaad rehti thi aur woh kabhi kisi ko muaf karnay ki qail na thi. Jab may nay yeh kai dafa note kia to ek din us ko samjhaya kay hum musalman to Husn Zann denay wali qaum hay. Agar tum har kisi ki kami ko apnay dil may lay kar beth jaogi to tumhari apni zindagi mushkil ho jayegi. Is buri aadat ka asar yeh bhi hua kay woh kabhi kisi say madad lenay kay haq may na hoti, madad offer bhi karti to us ko jo us ki good books may hota. 

Yeh meray mizaj kay bilkul ulat tha. May madad mangta bhi aur karta bhi bila tafreeq. Mera maanNa tha kay isi say bhai chara barhta hay. Halal meat ka kaam shroo may theek gaya, phir may exhaust hona shroo ho gaya kiyoukay mujhay shehr say bahir farm may jana parhta aur yeh kaam har do haftay baad karna parta. Meray asl kaam ka haraj hona shroo ho gaya. Yves nay bhi note kia kay may har waqt fresh nahi hota. Haleema ki wajah say may ghar per office ka kaam na lata tha to phir office late ruknay lag para. Pehlay dopehr ka khana hum saath may khatay thay, ab hum raat kay khanay per hi ikathay hotay. Office may dayr tak kaam kay baad may Masjid chala jata.. Wahan Isha say farigh ho kar hi ghar jata. Ek do dafa kulthum nay kaha kay may ab dayr say ghar kiyoun aata hoon. Bataya.. Kaam ziyada hay.. Ghar laa nahi sakta.. Haleema ki wajah say ghar kaam karna mushkil ho jata hay. Kehnay lagi kaam ziyada hay ya koi aur activities chal rahi hain… mujhay bahut ghussa aaya.. Phir socha shayad mazaq kar rahi hay.. Bhonda sa mazaq. May nay koi jawab na diya. Phir jaisay us ki aadat ban chukki thi woh boltay ja rahi thi boltay ja rahi thi. Is say pehlay kay mujh  say kuch ghalat ho jata may ghussay may dastarkhwan say utha aur ghar kay bahar chala gaya. Car may ja kar lait gaya aur intezar karnay laga kay yeh so jaigi to ghar jaonga. Phir aisa hi kia.. Woh haleema ko solanay kamray may gayee hui thi jab may wapas aaya aur bistar per ja kar lait gaya. Bilkul acha nahi lag raha tha. Zehn per bahut bojh tha.. Yeh kiyoun meray baaray may aisa soch rahi hay.. Agar mainay bewafai karni hoti to kia is ko itnay door say biyah kar lata…. So tarah ki cheezain dimagh may aain… sona chahta tha per so nahi paa raha tha. Phir neend aa gayee. Aahista aahista yeh routine ban gayee kay may masjid say aata , to table per khana rakha hota. Kulthum haleema kay saath us kay kamray may hoti. May khana khata aur ja kar so jaata. Subah uthta to kulthum aur haleema apnay kamray may so rahay hotay. Mera subah nashtay ka mood waisay bhi na hota bus tayyar ho kar office chala jaata. 

Mujhay is sab may bahut kuch missing lag raha tha lekin may koi nai larai nahi karna chahta tha. Kulthum ko indirectly kaha kay kai dafa us say baat karnay ko dil karta hay to kuch waqt to mujhay diya karay per phir woh sunana shroo ho jati kay maan banNa kitna mushkil hay… tumhay nahi pata raaton ko uthna parhta hay.. May phir chup ho jata. 

Ek raat mujhay kaam say dair ho gayee, hasb-e-mamool may ghar poncha khana khaya aur layt gaya. Aglay roz muri subah ek bahut zuroori meeting thi. Investors aa rahay thay.. Unhi kay liye presentation tayyar kartay kartay mujhay dair ho gayee. Thori dayr baad haleema nay rona shroo kar diya aur chup karnay ka naam hi na leti thi. Kulthum chup kara rahi thi per woh chup nahi ho rahi thi… mainay kaha is ko doosray kamray may lay jao meri subah meeting hay. Us nay aagay say forun cheekh kar jawab day diya kay khud lay jao. May  haleema ko uthanay laga to zor say haleema ko meray haathon say lay gaee. Mujh say bardasht na hua to ghussay may moon say buray alfaz nikal gaey. Phir may living room may ja kar so gaya. Neend waghaira sab urh chuki thi par kisi tarah force kar kay apnay aap ko sulaya. Baqia zindagi is waqia ka taana sunNa para. Kulthum ki selective memory ki daad deni paray gi.. Jab bhi woh koi purana waqiah sunati us may meri har ghalat cheez us ko yaad hoti… lekin apni har cheez hazf kar jati. 

May aksar sochta tha kay kahan woh shroo wali kulthum aur kahan yeh baat baat per jhagra karnay wali kulthum… insaan shayad waqt kay saath badal jaata hay ya shayad may hi us ko badal raha tha. 

Kon hay tu - Part 14

 Woh din khuda khuda kar kay aa gaya jab Kulthum aur may hamesha kay liye ikathay honay jaa rahay thay.. April 2005. Sach baat to yeh kay may us ko Indonesia say khud jaa kar laana chahta tha per itna sab kuch ek saath afford nahi kar sakta tha. Is liye Kulthum ko mainay ticket kay paisay bhaijay taakay woh wahan say hi ticket lay sakay. Kulthum kay Abu, Ammi aur behnon say phone per baat bhi ki aur un say muafi mangi kay may khud nahi aa saka. Mera khayal hay un ko samajh thi kay itna kharcha meray bass ki baat nahi hay. 

 Kulthum Indonesia say pehlay Narita, Japan jayegi, phir Vancouver, Canada, phir Toronto aur phir Halifax. Bahut ki lamba aur thaka denay wala safar ho ga aur woh zindagi may pehli baar khud travelling kar rahi thi. Mujhay ehsaas to tha kay yeh kaam us kay liye asaan nahi ho ga lekin aur choice kia thi hamaray paas. Halifax meray shehr say taqreeban 4 ghantay kay faslay per tha. Hamaray shehr say ek bus seedhi Halifax airport chalti thi. May nay isi may aafiyat jaani kay us bus per chala jaon aur hum dono usi per wapas aa jayengay. So may nay aisay hi kiya. Bus per Halifax kay airport pohuncha. Mushkil say adha ghanta hua ho ga kay us ki flight aa gayee. Ab mera dil zor zor say dharak raha tha. 3 saal baad kulthum ko phir apnay saamnay dekhoon ga. Samajh nahi aa raha tha kay pehlay alfaz kia kahoonga..  Bahut saaray khayalaat dimagh may ghoray ki tarah dor rahay thay. Jo safar 1998 may shroo hua tha ab 7 saal baad apni manzil kay qareeb ponchta dikhai day raha tha. May nay khud say kaha bas kuch aur lamhay, phir yeh doori khatam. Sab kuch thamnay wala tha. Bus ab zindagi may woh iztraab khatm ho jayega. Woh jo doori hum roz mehsoos kartay thay bus ab khatam honay wali thi. Phir Kulthum nazar aai. Jaisay waqt phir tham gaya ho.. Mujhay door say hi us kay aankhon may aansoo nazar aa rahay thay. Us ki nazar mujh per pari to bhaag kar lipat gayee. Ab waqi dooriyan khatm ho chuki theen. Kafi dair hum ek doosray ko galay laga kar rakha.. Sab kuch zehn may ghoom raha tha.. Pehli mulaqaat say lay kar woh sab museebatain jo is milan kay liye jheelein theen. Ab us kay ronay ki awaz barh rahi thi. Mere aankhon may bhi nami thi per dil ko ek sukoon tha. 

Airport say hum usi bus may baithay aur wapas Fredericton kay liye nikal paray. Raastay may Kulthum ki baatein nahi khatam hoti theen. Boltay boltay nahi thakti thi. Kai dafa to mujhay yeh bhi ahsaas nahi hota tha kay woh keh kia rahi hay.. Bus us ki taraf takta jaata tha. Phir woh kehti thi.. You understand? Are you listening? Aur may keh deta tha haan haan sun raha hoon. 

Ghar ponchay to woh bahut thak chuki thi  per chup honay ka naam nahi leti thi. Saaray ghar ka muaina kia phir plan bananay lag pari kay kia kia chahye ghar kay liya. Mainay kaha abhi to jao nahao fresh ho jao.. Yeh kaam baad may kar lena. Woh fresh honay gaee to may nay Abu ko phone kia kay kulthum pohunch gaee hay. Abu nay bhi dhair saari duain deen. Us kay baad to har din eid tha har raat shab baraat. Itni baatain shayad mainay apni zindagi may nahi kee hongi. Un sab baaton may us kay mood kay saat rang they… hansti thi , qahqa lagati thi.. Phir preshan, phir udas, phir rona.. Yani sab kuch hi chal raha tha… aur may sukoon say us ko dekhay jaata. Dil aisi udari maar raha tha kay shayad ab meray liye yeh jahan fatah karna na-mumkin na tha. Har cheez may confidence feel hota tha. Kulthum bahut khayal rakhti thi… safai karna, khana banana, meray kapray dhona, istri karna… jootay tak theek kar deti thi… mujhay aisi royal treatment to bachpan may ammi say hi milti thi.. Us kay baad in sab ka to may aadi bhi nahi raha tha. May ab bhi Khaled ki company may hi kaam kar raha tha. Hum ab ek 2 bedroom kay apartment may move ho chukay thay.. Bari jaga thi, roshan kamray thay aur Kulthum ko to bus ghar arrange karnay ka junoon tha. 

Jab woh canada aai to us nay mujh say ek din poocha kay kia may niqab kar sakti hoon. May nay kaha yeh mazaq nahi hay. Agar tum nay is ki niyyat ki hay to yeh one way road hay… har waqt karna ho ga, yeh nahi kay ek din kia aur doosray din utaar diya… niqab ki behurmati nahi karni. Us nay kaha kay us nay irada kar liya hay. Meray liye to yeh pride ki baat thi kay us kay dil may yeh khayal khud say aaya. 

Wahan ek indian aunty thi.. Hindu thi.. Us ka samosay ka business tha. Kuch musalman log bhi waha kaam kartay thay. Kisi nay mujhay us ka bataya to mainay Kulthum say poocha kay woh waha kaam karegi… saara din ghar per baithay baithay bore ho jaati hay. Pehlay Kulthum thori hichkichai per phir razi ho gaee. Us job say hamain ek aur income mil gaee jo bari help thi. Aahista aahista lifestyle barhta gaya. Jo pehlay hum sasti cheezain letay thay ab mehngi cheezain aanay lag pareen. Meri apni adat to yeh hay kay paisay bacha bacha kar kharch karta hoon per kulthum ko kaisay mana karta.. Karta to tha per kabhi kabhar woh na sunti thi aur kharcha kar daalti thi. Us ka nateeja yeh nikla kay maheenay kay aakhir may ab paisay bamushkil pooray hotay. Mujhay bahut uljhan hoti aur may us say keh deta.. Aglay maheenay khayal karo… bacha bacha kar istimal karo… lekin phir wohi haal hota. Mujhay is cheez say stress ho jata per may is ka izhaar to nahi kar sakta tha. Bus chup kar jaata yeh soch kar kay Allah aur dayga… paisay bhi aur un ko bachanay ki taufeeq bhi. Kai dafa kulthum say choti moti nok jhonk ho jaati thi...us ki buri aadat thi woh ghussay may ho to bolti jaati thi...mujhay yeh bilkul pasand nahi tha..kai dafa boht bardasht karta per us kay constant bolnay per mujh say ghussa control nahi hota tha aur may na chahtay huay bhi oonchi awaz may us ko chup honay ka kehta. Lekin phir mera ghussa thanda bhi bahut jaldi ho jaata tha. Us ko mana bhi leta tha. Per woh bahut mushkil maanti thi. Ziddi thi.. Is liye bahut dair lagti thi us ko normal honay may. 

Ek din kulthum kehnay lagi kay sir may dard hay. May nay kaha kia hua hay. Kehti hay Indonesia may bhi ho jata tha kabhi kabhi migraine ka dard. May nay kaha kabhi doctor ko nahi dikhaya… kaha dikhaya tha per kuch diagnose nahi hua. May us ko walkin clinic lay gaya. Doctor nay check kia to us nay poocha kay tumhara family doctor kon hay. Hum nay kaha abhi assign nahi hua. Khair us nay family doctor ki information li aur hamain kaha kay us say mil lo. Saath us nay hospital bhi refer kia keh blood aur urine test karwa lo.

Family doctor kay office call ki to unhon nay haftay baad ki appointment di. May kulthum ko us kay clinic muqarrara din lay gaya. Woh family doctor india say thi, aged thi per achay manners ki thi. Us nay miltay hi poocha kay pakistan say ho. May nay kaha ji.. To kulthum say urdu bolnay lag pari…. May nay kaha kay yeh indonesia say hay, urdu nahin bolti.. Bahut surprised hui. Sawal kia… kitna arsa hua hay shadi ko. May nay kaha shadi to 2002 may hui this lekin ab is ko yahan aai taqreeban ek saal honay wala hay. Phir us ko bataya kay Aunty geeta kay paas kaam bhi karti hay to doctor forun boli Geeta to meri dost hay. Phir poocha, kia family bananay ka irada nahi hay.. saath saath for kulthum kay blood reports aur urine reportd bhi dekh rahi thi. Mainay kaha irada to hay par jab tak Allah nahi day ga hum kia kar saktay hain. Kehnay lagi.. Mubarak ho Allah nay sun li hay….Kulthum pregnant hay. 

Meray to pairon talay zameen nikal gaee… aankhon may ansoo.. Kulthum bhi rohansi si hui ja rahi thi…. Dil kar raha tha pahar per char jaaon aur zor say saari duniya ko bataon… may baap bannay wala hoon. Shadi kay baad woh doosra bara khushi ka din tha.Ghar ponchtay hi abu ko bataya.. Kulthum nay apnay ghar bataya. Lekin mujhay yaqeen nahi ho raha tha kay hum do say teen honay ja rahay hain. Dimagh may bahut say plan ban rahay thay… lekin har dam yahi dua nikalti thi sab khairiat say ho jai. Kulthum har dam ghar ko tayyar karnay may masroof thi naye mehmaan kay liye… us kay kapray, us ka crib, har cheez ready kar kay rakhna chahti thi. Roz hamara naamon per jhagra hota tha…Kehti thi larka hua to naam tum rakh lena.. Larki hui to may us ka naam Khadeeja-tus-Sughra rakhoongi. May bazid tha kay larka hua to Saifullah aur larki hui to Haleema. Akhir kaar ko woh din aa gaya jab hamaray is naye mehmaan nay is dunya may aana tha. Kulthum ko hospital lay kar gaya. Ab yahan hamaray ghar walay to thay nahi help karnay kay liye to may hi tha us kay saath. Doctor nay mujhay kaha kay kulthum ki pehli delivery hay to bahut ziada time lagay ga contractions may. Mujhay kaha kay tum us kay saath hi baitho taakay koi to us ki himmat bandhai. May delivery room may us kay saath tha.. Us ki labour taqreeban 18 ghantay ki thi. Main itna thak gaya tha… us bechari ki to haalat bahut hi kharab thi.. Finally raat kay pichlay pehr, delivery ho gaee aur hamari nanhi si pari is dunya may aa gaee. Jab woh paida hui to doctor us ko Kulthum kay paas lay gaee, kulthum nay us ko piyar kia, jism kay saath chimta liya. May nay Kulthum ki taraf dekha to shayad woh samajh gayee. Kehnay lagi.. Is ka naam Haleema rakh lo. Main bahut khush tha… us waqt to woh khadeeja bhi kehti to mujhay koi aiteraz na hota. Phir nurse nay haleema ko saaf kia aur meray paas lay aai. Mainay us kay kaan may azaan di aur tehneeq ki. Phir unhon nay haleema ko incubator may rakh diya. Woh thori under weight thi to doctors nay kaha kay us ko under observation rakhna ho ga. May kulthum kay paas ja kar baith gaya. Us ka haath meray haath may tha jo abhi bhi kaamp raha tha. Mujhay quran ki woh aayat yaad aa rahi thi.. 

Wa Hamalathu Wahn Ala Wahn… Kay Maan apnay bachay ko pait may rakhti hay kamzori per kamzori kay bawajood….

Kulthum bahut thak chuki thi… may nay socha usay araam karnay doon aur may jaa kar shukr ki namaaz parh loon. Haleema ka woh pehli baar meri taraf aankhay matka kar dekhna.. Chotay chotay haath.. Aur jab khujoor say us ki tehneeq ki to jis tarah say woh muskarai.. Woh manzar aaj bhi nazron kay saamnay taza hay..Mujhay us nanhi si pari nay ek nai pehchan day di thi...abuhaleema. 

Kon hay tu - Part 13

 Canada wapas pahunchtay hi may nay job ki phir talaash shroo kar di. Fredericton jo kay New Brunswick province ka shehr hay jahan mujhay job ki offer hui. Ek construction company thi jis ko kisi aisay banday ki zuroorat thi jo technical side bhi rakhta ho aur letter communications bhi karta ho. Bahut basic si job thi.. Meri field say related bhi nahi thi per Allah ka naam liya aur kaam shroo kia. Fredericton Canada kay east coast per hay. Aur may Regina say move ho kar fredericton aa gaya. Company ko is province may kaam shroo kiyay koi do saal hi huay thay. Un ka office abhi ban raha tha is liye unhon nay mujhay apnay hi ek banai huay ghar may ek karma day diya. Us ghar kay doosray kamron may aur log rehtay thay.. Woh sab univ kay students thay. Meray kamray ki deewar jis kamray ko lagti thi woh company ka temporary office tha. To meray liye to best tha… haha ghar may hi office. Suna tha company ka owner ek Saudi hay job kabhi kabhar hi canada aata hay. Mera supervisor ek french aadmi tha jis ka naam Yves tha. Yves bahut hi straight forward kisam ka aadmi tha aur bahut sanjeeda. Shayad poori zindagi may kabhi na hansa ho ga. Yves say achi dosti ho gaee thi. Mujh say umar may kafi bara tha is liye us ka tajarba bahut tha. Koi taqreeban ek maheena wahan per kaam kiya… paisay waqt per mil jaatay thay… mera to kaam bhi wajibi sa tha. Office may mukhtalif workers ka aana jana laga rehta tha. Jab meri chutti bhi ho jaati thi.. Tab bhi planning or field kay supervisors office may aatay jaatay rehtay thay… mujhay deewar kay us paar awazain aati rehti theen. Lekin apnay off time may off hi rakhta tha… kabhi office kay muamlay may off time may dakhl andazi nahi ki.. Na hi kabjhi unhon nay mujh say overtime ka kaha. 

Ek subah hasb-e-maamool namaz kay baad quran ki tilawat kar raha that kay darwazay per knock hua. Darwaza khula to samnay Yves khara tha. Kehnay laga Boss bula raha hay.. Kal raat hi Saudi say aaya hay aur office may baitha hay. Mainay kaha, I will be there on my time. I am busy at the moment. Yves nay aankhon may aankhein daalein jaisay kuch kehna chahta ho per phir yeh keh kar chala gaya kay ok I will let him know. 

May apni job  kay time per office may gaya to Boss baitha tha… mujhay dekhtay hi us nay salaam kia. Mujhay sab log Mohammad kay naam say bulatay hain. Kehnay laga.. Mr. Mohammad sometimes we need your assistance, if I call you, would you not come, the company cannot wait for their employees to finish their tasks. May nay kaha.. I have an appointment everyday with our rabb. I need to finish reciting my Quran before I start my work. I can tell you are a Muslim, so you should understand this. My reciting Quran will put barakah in your company as thats how I start my work. Woh kuch dair khamosh raha phir kaha, Have a seat. Kehnay laga.. Kia background hay. I told him my educational background. Kehnay laga I have an offer for you. I want you take over my accounts for the company. May nay kaha meray paas koi experience nahi hay accounts ka. Kehnay laga Dont worry about that I will have a Chartered Accountant sit with you. You will shadow him and learn everything from him that you need for this company. May nay kaha. Ek shart hay kay tum paisay time per do gay aur Jumma half day chahye. Kehnay laga… that is fine but I thought you were going to talk about the salary. May nay kaha… You are boss, you decide but it should be on time. Kehnay laga.. Mr. Mohammad you are an interesting man… ok agreed. Kehnay laga…I need you to start next week as we will shift to the new office. Poocha koi car waghaira hay.. Mainay kaha bus say chala jaaonga tumhara doosra office ziyada door nahi hay yahan say. Kehnay laga… No, talk to yves, he will get you a car. May office say nikalnay laga to Boss (Us ka naam Khaled tha) bola... Yeh topi tum har waqt pehntay ho.. May nay kaha haan meri identity hay kiyoun koi problem hay. Kehnay laga .. nahi koi problem nahi hay , aglay haftay mulaqat ho gi. May office say nikal kar kamray may aa gaya.

Yeh sab achanak kia ho raha tha mujhay kuch samajh nahi aa rahi thi. Abhi bilkul choti si job say yeh kaisi promotion thi… woh bhi aisi job jis ka mujhay kuch pata nahi tha. 

Aglay haftay office gaya to ek shaandar office meray hawalay kia. Building per bahut paisa kharch kar rakha tha. Office kay saath ek apartment building ki construction isi company ka project tha jis may luxury apartments ban rahay thay. Mazdoor, supervisors, engineers sab kaam say lagay huay thay… Main office may baith to gaya per Alif bay bhi nahi pata thi karna kia hay.. Kahan say shroo karna hay. 

Yves aaya.. Kehnay laga May-o-mid (french log Mohammad aisay hi boltay hain...lol) congratulations for the job. We will go for the staff meeting, come join us. We went into the board room where boss and others were sitting. Aik boorha shakhs bhi baitha tha jis kay haath burhapay ki wajah say kaamp rahay thay. Boss bola… Mr. Mohammad..this is your friend for the next year. His name is John. May nay haath milaya. Boss nay kahan aap dono apna kaam start karein mujhay engineers say meeting karni hay. May aur John wapas meray office may aa gaey. John company ka Chartered Accountant tha lekin us ko tab hi bulatay thay jab zuroorat parhti thi. Woh full time company may kaam nahi karta tha. Us kay apni bhi practice thi. Lekin ab us ko ek saal kay liye hire kar liya gaya tha. Us nay mujhay accounts per or softwares per training daini thi taakay company kay accounts update rakh sakoon. Jo shakhs mujh say pehlay meri position per tha us nay accounts may kuch ghaplay kiye thay aur company nay us per court may case kar rakha tha. 

John bahut hi shafeeq insaan tha. Us nay saara filing system samjhaya. Software bhi samjhaya jo mainay bahut jald seekh liya. Hum nay mil kay company kay pichlay 2 saal kay saaray accounts fix kiyay. Bahut ghapla tha per sab sort out ho gaya.. Taqreeban 4 lakh dollars ka fraud tha sab accounts may aur yeh paisay company nay suppliers ko denay thay. Suppliers kay saath negotion kay liye Boss nay mujhay or Yves ko bhaija. Hamara kaam bas yeh tha kay time buy kia jaye taakay un kay paisay lotai ja sakain. Alhamdulillah Yves kay saath achi partnership rahi aur 2 haftay kay ander sab suppliers jo taqreeban 28 kay qareeb say negotiations ho gayeen. 

Boss bahut khush tha kay time mil gaya. Kehnay laga Mr. Mohammad now I can feel I can leave this company in good hands when I am away. Boss kay Saudia may bhi 2,3 businesses thay.. Kai aur mulkon may bhi woh aata jaata rehta tha..Boss ka complement acha lag raha tha kay woh mujhay trust karta hay. Us kay baad 2 saal tak may nay isi position per kaam kia.

Is saaray time may Kulthum say taqreeban roz baat hoti thi. Roz us ko boss kay aur yves kay qissay sunata. Mujhay hamaisha yaad dilati kay namaz ka paband rahoon quran ki tilawat karoon aur as usual khanay ka khayal rakhoon.. Isi doran may nay Kulthum ki immigration ka bhi apply kar diya tha. Kulthum kay abhi 2 semester rehtay thay… us ki parhai khatm nahi honi thi… us ka dil hi nahi tha khatm karnay ka… hamesha kehti bas lay jao yahan say ab dil nahi karta akayla rehnay ko. Us ki immigration per lawyer ki fees, govt ki fees mila kar kafi kharcha ho gaya tha. Phir aakhirkar us ka visa aa gaya. Visay per likha tha kay 1 maheenay kay under under canada ponchna hay. Dono ki khushi ki inteha na thi.

Kon hay tu - Part 12

 Kulthum kay Abu aur Ammi nay puchwaya kay Nikah ki date set karni hay lekin us say pehlay yeh pata kar liya jaye kay legal requirements kia hongi. Kulthum ki sab say bari behn Purwati ek Govt Employee thi aue us ki govt kay mehakmay may kafi jaan pehchan thi. Unhon nay kisi ko call ki aur woh Govt officer ghar milnay aaya. Us nay tamam requirements bataain lekin jab us ko pata chala kay may Indonesian resident nahi hoon, to us nay kaha yeh kaam sirf Federal Dept. kay through ho sakta hay. Kulthum ki ammi nay meri angoothi ka naap lenay kay liye jeweller ko bhi ghar per bulwaya hua tha. Mujh say poocha kay main gold ki ring pasand karoonga to may nay kaha nahi silver ki. Phir unhon nay meri ring silver ki rakhi aur kulthum ki white gold ki. Ab choonkay govt walon nay federal dept kay paas jaanay kay liye kaha to Nikah Bukittinggi may nahi ho sakta tha. Nikah kay liye wapas Jakarta jana parna tha. To Kulthum ki Ammi nay mangni Bukittinggi may rakhi aur sab muhallay daaron ko bulaya. Bari gathering thi. Bahut log aai thay. Ziyada rasoomat nahi theen kiyounkay hum nay yahi plan kia tha kay saada ceremony rakhni hay. Mangni kay 2 roz baad hum Jakarta kay liye nikal paray. Wapsi ham nay plane say ki… sab Jakarta aai taakay Nikah ka arrangement kia jaa sakay. Kulthum aur may Govt department gaey aur unhon nay hum say forms waghaira bharwai, phir unhon nay Oct 8, 2002 ki date batai. Nikah Khwan usi taareekh ko Sister Rita kay ghar Bekasi aayega. Ghar may bahut chehal pehal thi.. Jaisay shadi kay ghar may hoti hay.. Ghar itna bara nahi tha per log bahut say thay. Saath neighbours bhi is shaadi ki tayyariyon may shamil they. Mujhay bahut acha lag raha tha kay saaray muhallay walay bhi help kar rahay thay. 

Dito, mera university ka dost, woh bhi Jakarta may tha. Us ko kisi tarah dhoondha aur kaha kay mera nikah hay aur us nay zuroor aana hay. Woh aur us kay kuch dost bhi aai. Nikah ka waqt qareeb aa raha tha aur meri tension barh rahi thi. Haq Mahr ki baat aai to Kulthum kay brother in law nay kaha $5000 haq mahr qubool hay… mainay kaha may itna nahi day sakta, yeh bahut bari raqm hay… phir wohi qahqay...kehnay lagay kia samajhtay ho yeh dulhan itni asaani say lay jaogay?... may chup raha. Phir kaha $3000 Haq Mahr qubool hay… may nay kaha yeh to meri pohunch may nahi hay. Brother in Law nay kaha is say kam hamay manzoor nahi hay… mujhay ghussa to bahut aa raha tha… per chup baitha raha. Brother in Law bolay, phir qubool hay ya nahi… may nay kaha abhi nahi hay… nikah kay baad day sakta hoon (muajjal).. Kulthum kay abu bolay, jo dena hay aaj hi dena hay… Nikah say pehlay. Ya meray khudaya… agar yahi sab karna tha to pehlay bata detay koi arrangement kar leta. Ab itnay logon kay saamnay kia jawab doon. Phir may nay kaha… is waqt to may wohi day sakta hoon jo meri ammi nay diya hay aur Quran parh kar suna sakta hoon. Kulthum kay Abu bolay… thehro.. Kulthum say poocho us ko qubool hay?... Under say Aurat aai ji qubool hay….aur aurton ki oonchay qahqay.. Meri jaan may jaan aai. Phir jo Mahr laya tha woh un ko dia.. Surah Yaseen ki tilawat kar kay sunai… Phir Nikah khwan aaya aur us nay nikah parhaya. Teen dafa Qubool karwaya.. Us din Kulthum pay derh mann ka makeup kia hua tha… pehchan may nahi aa rahi thi. Lekin jo halaat chal rahay thay … i just wanted to get over with the ceremony.. Lol… Abu ko phone kia aur un ko bataya kay nikah ho gaya hay.. Un say duain leen.. Kulthum nay bhi un say baat ki, Abu nay usay bhi dher saari duain deen. 

Nikah kay parhtay hi, log mukhtalif tuhfay tahaif denay shroo kar diye. Kuch nay paisay diye… sab kuch Kulthum ki behnon nay handle kia. Ab yahan koi rukhsati to ho nahi sakti thi lekin unhon nay qareeb ka ek ghar karai par liya hua tha… bus nikah ki ceremony kay baad ham paidal ( with all the family) wahan gaey aur family walay sab wapas Sister Rita kay ghar aa gaey. Kulthum aur may finally mian biwi ban chukkay thay. Ek lamhay kay liye to yaqeen hi nahi aa raha tha. Kahan may Pakistan say, Kahan woh Indonesia say.. Kabhi socha tha aisa bhi ho sakta hay, lekin yeh hua aur yeh kisi mujazy say kam nahi tha. May us waqt aisay mehsoos kar raha tha jaisay duniya ki buland tareen choti per khara hoon aur tamam jahan meray saamnay ho. Kulthum meri ho chuki thi, yani tamam jahan ki daulay ab meri thi. Wuzu kia, aur hum nay ba-jamaat isha ki namaz parhi. Bahut shoq tha mujhay apni begum kay saath jamaat namaz parhnay ka.. Woh shoq bhi poora ho gaya. Woh raat meri haseen raaton may say ek thi.

Agli Subah hum phir Sister Rita kay ghar aa gaye thay. Meray wapas jaanay may taqreeban 4 din rehtay thay. Un 4 dinon may hum nay woh kia jo kabhi nahi socha tha. Kulthum nay mujhay har jaga dikhai… apni university say lay kar mall, Masjid Istaqlal (jo indonesia ki sab say bari masjid hay), phir woh mujhay mukhtalif street food khilanay lay gaee. Har roz bahut khush aur haseen tha. Dil may yeh bhi tha kay ab wapas jaanay ka time aa raha hay.. Bilkul bhi wapas jaanay ka dil nahi kar raha tha. Kulthum kay Ammi Abu nay shart rakhi kay Kulthum jab tak university khatm nahi kar lay gi woh Canada nahi jayegi. Un ki yeh baat mujhay nagawaar to bahut guzri per may nay maan li. Ab joon joon jaanay ki ghariyan qareeb aa rahi theen , waisay waisay dil udas hota ja raha tha. Kulthum ki taraf dekhta to woh muskra deti per aankhon may ansoo saaf nazar aatay thay. Phir aakhri din, tamam ghar walay ghamgeen thay. Har banda mujhay naseehatain kar raha tha.. Saath saath yeh bhi keh raha tha kay hamain bhool na jana… may nay kaha bhool kaisay jaonga… apna dil yahan chor kar ja raha hoon.

Aglay din sub log mujhay Airport chornay kay liye aai jahan say meri rawangi wapas pakistan thi. Pakistan wapas aa kar Abu ko saaray qissay sunai. Abu nay bhi bahut enjoy kia aur kaha kay aaj tumhari maan zinda hoti to bahut khush hoti. Ek haftay kay baad meri Canada jaanay ka time hua to Abu mujhay airport per chornay aai. Kehnay lagay, Jald chakkar lagana, zindagi ka koi bharosa nahi hay.Abu say galay mil kar may boarding kay liye chal para. Bahut saari yadain saath liye may Canada wapas ja raha tha lekin dil may ek khushi thi jo dhaaras bandhati thi kay ab Kulthum meri zindagi ka hissa hay. Ab meri soch meray liye nahi, hamaray liye hay. Ab may akela nahi tha, ab ek hamsafar tha jo abhi to door tha per jald hi saath ho ga. 

Kon hay tu - Part 11

 Jakarta say safar shroo hua aur sab bahut energy may thay. Mujh say Pakistan kay baaray may bahut sawal kiye. Culture, Food, Education, Politics koi topic na chora. May bhi enjoy kar raha tha. Rastay may har tarah ka snack aur fruit khaya. Aisa aisa fruit jis ka kabhi naam bhi na suna tha. Kuch fruits bahut achay lagay, kuch nahayat buray.. Haha. Un may say ek fruit Durian hay. Yeh Indonesia may bahot pasand kia jaata hay.. Nahayat badbudaar aur taseer may garam. Yeh mujhay bilkul pasand nahi aaya.. Aur woh sab mujh per hanstay thay. Dry fruit bhi tarah tarah kay thay… phir kaiyon ka to may nay naam bhi na suna tha. Chaat kisam ki cheezain bhi khaiyin. Pehli dafa zindagi may Peelay rang ka tarbooz bhi khaya.. Kaylon ki itni iqsaam, aam bhi har qisam kay aur aik cheez jahan jahan bhi jao bandar aap kay peechay peechay. Boring to kaheen say bhi nahi tha. Meray liye to sab interesting tha. Koi 14 ghantay kay safar kay baad hum Sumatera pohunch gaye. Sumatera ponchtay hi sab uth kar baith gaye aur unhon nay sukoon ka saans liya jaisay banda ghar aa jaata hay. Sab ko bhook lag gayee to kaha keh kia Sumatera ka khana khao gay. May nay kaha kiyoun nahi. Bus stop per ruki to waheen ek restaurant may gaey (jo hamaray kisi dhabay style ka keh saktay hain). Unhon nay ek bari table hamain laga kar di. Ab aagay jo hua woh bilkul hi kamal tha.. Yeh duniya may mainay kabhi nahi dekha. Taqreeban 30 min baad unhon nay khana lana shroo kia. Taqreeban 40 dishes. Mainay kaha itna khana kiyoun mangwa liya.. Kon khatam karay ga…. To bataya gaya kay Sumatera kay tradition may jab aap restaurant jaatay hain to menu may say choose kar kay nahi batatay kay kia khana hay, woh menu ka her item la kar saja detay hain aur aap ko jo jo chahye hota hay woh aap lay letay hain… dur waiter aap ki table check karta rehta hay.. Jaisay hi aap nay kisi dongay ko touch kia, woh donga bill may count ho gaya… may nay kaha yeh ajeeb mantaq hay...meray liye bahut naya tha sab kuch.. Canada dekhnay kay baad agar koi yeh kahay kay mainay duniya dekhi hay to woh yaqeenan ghalat hay. Khanay ka menu mashallah… mujhay to koi cheez khanay ki himmat nahi ho rahi thi… roast murghi to thi hi per gaye ki dum ka soup, octopus curry, squid curry, crabs, prawns, shrimps, fried rice, tempeh (fermented soybean), rice, and kirpuk (jo hamaray papar ki tarah tha). Aur bhi bahut kuch tha jo may bhool gaya hoon. Kitni qismon ki chatniyan… soya sauce to thi hi, per sambal sauce, mong phali ki chatni, podeenay ki, coconut ki.. Kuch aur bhi theen jin ko try karnay ki himmat nahi hui. 

Khana khanay kay baad Bus phir chal pari aur phir hum Padang ja kar hi utray. Wahan hamain Kulthum ki sab say bari behn apni family kay saath mili aur phir hum ek aur bus may sawar huay. Aagay ka rasta taqreeban ek aadh ghanta hi ho ga. Raat ko taqreeban 11 bajay hum Kulthum kay Abu Ammi kay ghar pahunch gaey. 

Us kay Abu jo meray abu say umar may kaafi baray thay, bahar receive karnay aai, galay lagaya aur haath pakar kar ander lay gaye. Ghar may khoob hungama macha hua tha. Kulthum ki behnon kay bachay idhar udher bhaag rahay thay. Us ki behnon nay khoob shor machaya hua tha.. Lagta tha kafi arsay baad ek doosray say sab ikathay milay thay. Sab behnain us ki ammi kay aas paas baithay thay aur woh sab ko baari baari duain day rahi thi. May Kulthum kay abu aur brother in laws kay saath baitha tha. Woh sab apni apni tooti phooti angrezi may kuch poochtay… may samajhnay ki koshish karta.. Phir jo samajh aata… us kay hisab say jawab day deta. Phir sab logon nay Ammi ka poocha aur sab ghar walon nay fatiha parhi. Phir ek udham mach gaya kay khana lagao… haha.. Ghar may full gehma gehmi aur qahqay…bachay baar baar aa kar mujh per apni angrezi try kartay. Khair khana lag gaya… mera to bilkul mood nahi tha.. Abhi pichla hi hazm nahi hua tha per phir bhi thora sa kha liya taakay bura na lagay. Kulthum kay abu, jin ka naam Nyoto tha, nay poocha kay abhi kia karna hay… mainay kaha nahana hay … sab zor daar qahqa laganay lagay… mainay kaha kuch ghalat keh diya… kulthum boli… nikah kay baaray may pooch rahay hain….may nay kaha karna kia hay nikah karna hay…. Sab phir hansay… you can never win when there are a bunch of women in the room. Phir Kulthum ki ammi nay kaha kay is ko fresh honay do.. Yeh baatain baad may bhi ho sakti hain. 

May naha dho kar kapray change kar kay ek kamray may gaya jahan unhon mera intezam kia hua tha. Mera sath koi 4,5 bachay bhi usi kamray may thay jo sonay ka naam na letay thay.. Un ki excitement hi khatm nahi hoti thi.. Khair Bistar per girtay hi mujhay to neend aa gayee. Shayad us raat koi khwab bhi nahi aaya, itna thak gaya tha. 

Subah sawaray fajr ki azaan hui to ek dam aankh khul gaee, aisa lagta tha kay jaisay masjid bilkul qareeb hi hay. Ankh khuli, jaisay hi palat kar dekha to kulthum khari di haath may pani ka glass liye...may darr gaya.. Mainay kaha yeh kia tareeqa hay… lol… kehnay lagi pani ka glass rakhnay aai thi per tum uth gaey to mainay kaha haath may hi dekar jaati hoon. May nay kahan bed tea ka to suna tha yeh bed water pehli dafa dekh raha hoon..Khair pani piya wuzu kia aur namaz parhi. Kaha masjid qareeb hay, to may waheen chala jata hoon, per Kulthum ki ammi nay mana kar diya keh akalay nahi jaanay doongi. Namaz kay baad phir layt gia… sab kay sab so rahay thay. Taqreeban 9 bajay, saaray ghar may phir gehma gehmi shroo ho gaee. Kitchen may naashtay ban rahay thay, bachay sab tv kay samnay lagay huay thay. Jaisa mainay pehlay bataya tha kay Kulthum ki ammi ki kitab rent karnay ki dukan thi.. Woh ghar may hi khol rakhi thi.. Muhallay kay bachay bhi aai huay thay… woh shelf kay aagay kharay kitaabon ko select karnay may lagay huay thay. Phir unhon nay kitabain choose keen aur Kulthum ki ammi ko paisay diye aur lay gaye. Yeh kitabain woh ek haftay kay liye rent kartay thay. Kulthum ki ek behn bahut sari nayee kitbain Jakarta say lay aai thi aur woh baithi un per cover charha rahi thi taakay woh shelf may add kar sakay. Ek behn kitchen may naashta bana rahi thi. Brother in Laws bahir dhoop sekh rahay thay. Kulthum kay abu akhbar parhnay may masroof thay. Har 5-10 min baad koi muhallay ka banda aata aur Kulthum ki ammi ko hazri deta. Kuch cheezain discuss hoteen (jo mujhay nahi pata tha kis baaray may theen) aur phir woh banday chalay jaatay. Mujhay yeh sab bahut acha lag raha tha… bilkul purani indian filmon jaisa. 

Nashta lag gaya… sab baray log table per baithay.. Sab bachay zameen per dastarkhwan laga baithay. Kulthum ki ammi hamaray saath na baitheen. Kulthum nay bataya kay woh subah saweray naashta kar leti hain un ko late nashta karna acha nahi lagta. Nashtay per ek hi topic tha. Kulthum aur mera Nikah.

Kon hay tu - Part 10

 Bhakkar say aaye abhi do ya teen din huay thay, kay Abu meray kamray may aaye. Abu kabhi meray kamray may nahi aatay thay. Hamesha awaaz day kar bulatay thay. Mujhay ek dam surprise hua, foran uth kar abu ko baithnay ki jaga di. Kehnay lagay.. Nasir Khan (Abu hamesha mujhay aisay hi bulatay hain), Mera khayal hay ab tum bhi shadi kar lo. Faisal apni shadi say khush lagta hay. Kia ab bhi tum Kulthum say raabitay may ho. Main nay kaha ji baat hoti hay ab bhi. Kehnay lagay… Us may parents say baat karo aur Kulthum say shadi kar lo. Tumhari maan ko woh pasand thi. Agar us say shadi kar lo to tumhari maan ki rooh ko sukoon milay ga. Abu nay dil say maan liya tha. Yeh lamha meray liye jahan aik taraf khushi ka tha wahan ammi ki kami baesi gham bhi ban rahi thi. Phir abu nay kaha.. Yahan baitho may aata hoon. Woh apnay kamray may gaey aur thori dayr baad mujhay awaz di. Wahan abu nay woh sab kapray dikhai jo ammi Kulthum kay liye bana gaee theen. Shadi ka jora .. neelay rang ka.. Yeh meray liye us say bhi ziyada surprising tha. Neela kiyoun choose kia ammi nay… Allah jaanta hay.. Ooper waisa hi kaam hua wa tha jaisay hum lal joray par kartay hain. Be tahasha kapray thay Kulthum ki behnon kay liye aur us ki Ammi kay liye. Kulthum kay abu aur brother in laws kay liye Waist Coat aur qaraquli ki topi. Phir ammi nay kuch zewar tayyar kiye huay thay… kuch sonay kay kuch chandi kay. Saath Abu nay kaha kay ammi chali gayee to may nay yeh baat tumhari bari phuppo ko batai. Bari phuppo phir ja kar ek angoothi lay aai. Sab dekhnay kay baad mujhay ammi bahut yaad aain. Saari tayyari kar kay bethi thi.. Sirf meri khushi kay liye. 

May nay Kulthum say baat ki kay may Indonesia aana chahta hoon per visit kay liye nahi, nikah kay liye. Us nay kaha kay meray baron say baat karo. Meri taraf say nikah kay liye haan hay. Meri phir us ki bari behn say baat hui. Un ko hamaray baaray main pehlay say pata to tha hi, per woh shadi kay liye tayyar na thay. Us ki behn nay baqi behnon say baat ki aur phir unhon nay apnay maan baap say baat ki. Jaisa mainay pehlay kaha keh language ka masla tha is liye mujhay behnon ka sahara lena para tha. Phir us kay ek brother in law nay mujh say baat ki aur bataya kay mujhay wahan aa kar honay walay susr say direct baat karni paraygi. Khair zahiri taur per amaadgi zahir ho rahi thi to Allah ka naam lay kar Indonesia kay visay kay liye apply kia. Mujhay is kaam kay liyay un ka Marriage Visa apply karna para. Bahut museebaton kay baad, kiyounkay pakistan may har aisa kaam jaan jokham wala hota hay… akhirkar visa aa hi gaya. Kulthum kay to jaisay pair zameen per nahi tiktay thay. Pehlay plan tha Abu aur may ikathay jaingay per phuppo (jo mazur theen, hamaray saath rehti theen) ki wajah say unko pakistan may hi rukna para. Abu mujhay airport per chornay gaey.. Aur may suitcase bhar kay shadi ka samaan Indonesia kay liye nikal para.. Lol. Meray to us suitcase may do char kapray hi hongay baqi sab aurton ka samaan. Samaan check karnay walay bhi kehtay hongay yeh kia smuggling kar raha hay.  

Khair Allah Allah kartay Jakarta ponch gaya. Airport per bahar nikla to bechaini si thi… pehchan paaon ga kay nahi… kabhi asl may to na dekha tha tasweerain hi dekhi theen. Per thori door hi chala hoonga kay Kulthum ki awaz kanon may pari.. Woh mujhay “Shabiir” kehti thi.. Is ko urdu ya arbi may likhain to yeh banay ka Sabeer (Suad kay saath), Sabr karnay wala. Woh kabhi mujhay meray asli naam say nahi bulati thi, hamesha Shabiir (Indonesian spelling) kehti thi. May palta to woh meray samnay thi. Yeh waqi real tha, like bilkul real. Yeh chat nahi thi.. Woh phone call nahi thi jis kay minute tezi tezi say kam hotay hain.. Jaldi jaldi baat karni parti hay… yeh sab haqeeqat may ho raha tha. Hamesha ki tarah hijab may us ka chehra aur woh muskarahat. Waqt ruk na gaya tha… phir peechay say achanak us ki behn ki awaz aai to mera dhayan kulthum say hata. Woh bhi apnay husband aur bachon kay saath aa gaey thay. Kulthum ki saari behnain us say bahut bari hain umr may. Kulthum say bari behn us say 10 saal bari hay… baqi ka andaza laga lo. 

Samaam liya aur airport per hi unhon nay ek restaurant say khana khilaya aur phir sab log kulthum ki behn kay ghar ki taraf nikal paray. Us ki behn Jakarta kay thora bahar ek suburb may rehti thi jis ka naam Bekasi tha. Wahan Bekasi may un ka apna chota sa ek ghar tha. Brother in Law Instrumentation Engineer thay aur meri un say bahut gup shup lagi. Language ka masla tha lekin jis ki angrezi na aati ho us ko maths may samjha detay thay… haha.. Yeh translation meray liye perfect thi.. Ek engineer doosray engineer ko math may bhi samjha sakta hay. Kulthum ki behn nay bahut khidmat ki. Woh hijab nahi pehnti thi lekin sirf meri wajah say hijab pehn kar ghoom rahi thi...saath saath kosnay bhi dey rahi thi. Garmi thi na bahut so us ko uljhan hoti thi. May to bas muskra deta tha… akhir kar us say bardasht na hua aur hijab utar diya.. Mujhay aa kar kehti hay… may achi musalman hoon. Apni taraf say bechari explanation day rahi thi kay mujhay judge na karna. Is behn ko sab Rita kehtay thay.. Indonesia may bahut logon kay do do naam hain is liye main confused hi rehta tha kay kis naam say pukarna hay. Shaam hui to kulthum ki doosri behn bhi aa gaee. Us naam Wiwik tha. Woh zara serrious mizaaj thi aur hijab poori tarah karti thi. Woh apna business bhi chala rahi thi import export ka between malaysia and indonesia. Kulthum ki ek behn jis ka naam Rani hay woh Holland may hoti hay. Kulthum ka saara kharcha wohi uthati thi. Rani doosray number per thi. Sab say bari behn, jis ka naam Purwati tha woh ek kaafi door kay ilaqay Padang may rehti thi. 

Indonesia ka culture hamaray culture say bahut mukhtalif hay. Roti to aap ko kaheen nahi milti… sab ublay huay chawal khatay hain. Nashtay may bhi chawal.. Kamal to yeh tha. Waisay khanay ka taste bura nahi tha. Yeh is per depend karta tha kay khana kahan ka hay. Indonesia may 16,000 islands hain and is wajah say bahut saaray cultures abaad hain aur phir un kay khanon ka apna apna zaiqa hay. Lekin overall, Java Island (jahan Jakarta hay), wahan kay khanay spicy nahi hotay… kuch to meethay lagtay thay. Sumatera (jahan say kulthum ki family hay), wahan kay khanay bahut spicy hotay hain. Us ki behnon kay ghar may sab khanay spicy hi bantay thay jo kay meray liye theek tha. Masjidain aur musallay betahasha hain aur log masjid jaanay kay shoqeen bhi hain aurton samayt. Har masjid may aurton ka khas section hota tha. Safai kay bahut paband log hain. Jootay ghar kay bahar utar detay thay aur ghar may sab nangay pair ghoomtay thay… rozana farsh per pocha lagaya jaata tha. Washroom may jaanay kay liye jootay bahar rakhay hotay thay. Mujhay aahista aahista yeh system pasand aanay laga tha. Sister Rita kay bachon kay saath kabhi kabhar bazaar jata to log hairat say dekhtay thay kiyounkay may un say kaafi lamba tha… aa kar salaam kartay haath milatay aur hanstay. Overall bahut milansaar log thay. Shaam ko bahut saaray bachay jai-namaz uthai masjid jaatay huay nazar aatay thay. Bara hi pursukoon mahol tha. Phir Jakarta ki rangeeniya… baray baray shopping malls jo kai kai manzla oonchay… banda ander jai to gum ho jaye. Azaan kay time per saari announcements ruk jaati theen, sirf azaan ki awaaz aathi thi mall may. Her floor per ek musallah tha. Aap wahan namaz parhnay jain to pehli jamaat phir doosri jamaat phir teeri jamaat… namaz miss honay ka to sawal hi nahi tha. Hindu bhi thay wahan, christians bhi thay, chinese aur budhist bhi thay. 

Do teen din kay baad, plan yeh bana kay saari family bus per Jakarta say Sumatera Jayegi. Sumatera province tha aur pehlay hum Padang kay shehr jaingay jahan per sab say bari behn aur us ki family hamain join karay gi aur phir sab Bukittinggi jaingay jahan Kulthum kay ammi abu rehtay thay. Bukittinggi ek chota shehr tha… aisay hi jaisay hamaray hain Murree hay… tourist destination tha jahan puranay qilay aur purana culture abaad tha. Kehtay hain Bukittinggi may Indonesians or Dutch kay darmiyan bari khunkhwar larai hui thi. Bahut proud log hain wahan kay, watan per mar mitnay walay. 

Bukittinggi may Nikah ka time set hona tha. Mujhay ab kuch anxiety hona shroo ho gaee keh koi aisi shart na rakh di jaye jo may poori na kar sakoon. 

Kon hay tu - Part 9

 Kulthum ka abhi deyrh saal rehta tha. Usko to baar baar yehi poochna hota tha kay may Indonesia kab aaonga. Samjhaya abhi to job shroo ki hay, chor kay to nahi aa sakta na. Usay kaha sabr karay… bus phir woh beychain ho jati thi. Faisal ko MBA may partial scholarship aur stipend waghaira mil gaye to us nay kaha keh may apna kharcha utha sakta hoon, aur kaha kay jo paisay may us ko deta hoon, woh abu ko bhaij doon. Gul ki fees abhi bhi meray zimmay thi. Job ko taqreeban ek saal hua to qismat nay phir baazi palti. Jo sab kuch theek hota nazar aa raha tha, phir say tabahi ki taraf chal para. 

9/11 ho gaya tha aur yahan muslim workers kay khilaf bahut reaction aa raha tha. Company walon nay mujhay job say related to kuch nahi kaha lekin ek saal complete honay kay baad mujhay apnay work visa ki extension karwani thi. Hamara center Boston tha. Middle of New York. Wahan to sab offices band thay aur woh taqreeban ek saal tak band rahay. Work permit time per nahi aaya aur Company walon ko majbooran mujhay job say nikalna para. Ab meray paas koi raasta na tha, bus work permit aata to kisi job kay liye dobara apply karta. Kashti phir ek majhdar may aa phansi thi. Phir kuch maheenon baad work permit aaya per us waqt canada may 9/11 ki wajah say bahut berozgari thi, job milna bahut mushkil tha. May nay bus choti moti jobs kar kay jo kar sakta tha kia. Gul ki univ almost complete ho chuki thi. Faisal nay MBA kar liya to us ka dil tha Madrassah may Alim ka course karnay ka. Dil to kehta tha us ko kahoon, job kar haath bata lekin phir may chup ho gaya jab us nay kaha, Allah raasta kholay ga aur jab us ka ilm hasil karoonga to barkat bhi to wohi day ga na. Hamaray montreal may ek jaanay walay thay, family ki taraf say nahi, but un uncle say masjid may ek mulaqat hui thi. Woh Montreal say tableegh jamaat may aai huay thay. Hamaray Imam sahib (jin kay saath hum sab bhaiyon ki bahut dosti thi) nay kaha kay woh apni beti ka rishta dhoond rahay hain aur may soch raha hoon Faisal munasib rahay ga. Ganga ulti nahi beh gayee… lol… Sab say chotay ki sab say pehlay shadi. Imam sahib nay kaha kay woh chahtay hain aap un kay ghar jayain taakay woh aapko mil bhi lain aur aap bhi larki dekh lo. Faisal nay socha, istikhara kia aur haami bhar li. Abu ko phone per bataya to abu ka mood off tha. Lekin Abu ko bhi ehsaas hua kay agar woh pakistan may shadi kartay hain us ki to kon karay ga shaadi kay saaray kaam. Abu ko to baat bhi nahi karni aati dhang say to rishtay dhoondna un kay bas ki baat nahi hay. Majbooran haan kar di. Faisal aur may bus per Montreal gaye, aur un kay ghar gaye. Bahut hi simple log thay aur usi din faisal aur us ki honay wali begum ki aapas may mulaqat karai. Shaam tak unhon nay bata diya kay larki razi hay aur nikah ki date set kar di. Yeh sab itna jaldi hua kay mujhay to kuch samajh nahi aaya. Per jab apni haalat dekhi to may nay yahi socha kay chalo Faisal ko bilkul bhi suffer nahi karna para. Saara kaam jaldi jaldi ho gaya. Maryam say shadi kay baad, Faisal South Africa chala gaya. Wahan kay ek maaroof madrassay may daakhla liya. Us kay baad woh wahan 12 saal raha aur Mufti ban kar wapas canada aaya. Sahi kaha tha us nay… Allah rasta kholay ga aur barkat daalay ga. Ab woh mashallah apni ek bahut bari organization Ilm Hub kay naam say chalata hay jis may aur bhi ulama us kay saath kaam kartay hain. Agar ammi zinda hoteen to Faisal say bahut khush hoteen. He really made all of us proud. Duniya ka ilm aur deen ka ilm barabar seekha us nay. 

Ok lets go back… Faisal South Africa chala gaya aur may wapas Regina aa gaya. Gul nay Comp. Sci may graduate karnay kay baad, America may ek company may job kar li aur woh Pennsylvania chala gaya. Mujhay ab sukoon tha kay bhaiyon ko zindagi may ek direction mil gayee hay. 

May nay thoray paisay jama kiye aur Pakistan chala gaya. Abu ko milna tha, Ammi ko milna tha. Bahut sabr kar kay baitha tha. Abu ko jab dekha to aankhon may aansu aa gaye. Bilkul kamzor ho chukay thay, daari rakh li thi, baal bhi sufaid ho gaye thay. Baat kartay kartay un kay ankhon may ansoo aa jaatay thay kiyounkay meray moon say baar baar ammi ki baat nikal jati thi. To bay ikhtiar woh keh uthtay thay dekh rahi ho gi ooper say to kitni khush hoti ho gi. Phir abu nay bataya kay Ammi kay faut honay kay baad, jab qarz walon nay abu ka jeena haram kar diya to abu say bilkul bardasht nahi hota tha. Abu nay Nursing Home aur kuch doosri properties baich kay ammi ka kuch karza chukaya. Abu nay un logon ka bhi bataya jin ka karza ammi per tha per ammi ki death suntay hi unhon nay apna qarza maaf kar diya. Hum nay ek list bana rakhi thi saaray qarzon ki. May Abu kay saath un sab logon kay paas gaya jin ko abhi qarzay denay thay. Un ko bataya kay Ammi ka qarza may doonga (halaankay meray paas koi job thori thi us waqt), lekin phir bhi un logon ko tasalli to deni thi.Phir may Ammi ko milnay gaya. Bahut sukoon say so rahi thi. Kafi dayr us say baatain karta raha. Ab us ko koi qarzay wala tang nahi karta ho ga. Meray dada kay saath kaisay araam say soyee hui thi. Pindi wapas aanay ko dil nahi karta tha per abu bahut udaas thay ammi ki qabr per to behtar yahi samjha kay abu ko wapas pindi lay jaoon. Ghar aai to abu ki bay ikhtiyar aah nikli. Sultana bahut yaad aati hay. Tayyar to may baitha tha, aur chali woh gayee. 

Yeh baat sach hay kiyounkay Abu nay Army say retirement medical grounds per li thi. Doctors nay kaha tha kay un ka heart aur kidneys sahi function nahi kar rahay aur shayad woh ek saal say ziyada zinda na rahain. Ammi nay abu kay liye ek khas diet plan banaya tha jo woh aaj tak follow kartay hain. Ammi khud chali gayee per abu ko apni zindagi day gayee. Hum dono phir kai dafa baat kartay kartay kaheen khayalon may kho jaatay thay, woh bhi shayad ammi ka hi soch rahay hotay thay. 

Kon hay tu - Part 8

 Ab har subah ek fikr say shroo honay lagi thi kay aaj abu ka din kaisa guzra hoga. Qarz lenay walon nay phir tang kia ho ga. Mera woh baap jis nay saari zindagi sufaid poshi may guzar di, ab kis tarah is zalim duniya kay sakht alfaz ka samna kar raha ho ga. Abu say poochta to kehtay thay un may say kuch log to cheekhtay bhi, gaaliyan bhi nikaltay thay. Yeh sab meray baap ko kiyoun jheelna parr raha tha.. Beech dil may main jaanta tha wajah. Yeh saari wajah mujh say hi to shroo hui thi. Dekha dekhi chotay bhai bhi isi rastay per chalay. Maan to maan thi, yeh bhala ho sakta tha ek ko ziada day aur doosray ko kum. Sab ko ek jaisa denay kay chakkar may yeh kia kar baithi ammi tu. Bahut kosta tha apnay aap ko. 

Kulthum say ab us tarah baat nahi ho pati thi aur us ka dil bhi parhai say uthta ja raha tha kiyoun kay woh assignments may bahut peechay reh gayee thi. Exam bhi diye per mushkil say paas hui thi. Mujh say kuch poochna bhi chahti ho gi to may jhirak deta hoonga. Meray apnay dimagh per itni tension thi kay yeh aakhri saal kaisay complete karoonga. 

Mera ek saal rehta tha, faisal kay 2, gul kay 2. Phir hum nay sir jora kay koi chance nahi hay abu say paisay mangnay ka. Kisi tarah hum jis kaam kay liye aaye thay us ko poora karna hay. Bahut dimagh laraya to ek tarkeeb nikali. Gul aur faisal dono agla semester drop karaingay aur koi kaam karaingay. Woh meri fees pay karaingay, mujhay har soorat achay number kay saath semester khatm karna tha.Saath may main tuition barha doonga, math department say kahoonga kay mujhay marker ki job chahye (yeh may pehlay bhi karta tha, is may paisay kum miltay thay). Math department kay head hamaray pakistani Dr. Ejaz thay. Un ko ja kar request ki… halaat batai… woh achay insan thay pakistani students ka khayal rakhtay thay. Unhon nay mujhay 3 math kay courses ki marking dilwa deen. Saath may meri 3,4 tuitions, full course load, labs, final year project. Bus na poocho.. Poora gadha ban chuka tha. Ek min ki fursat nahi thi. Raat ko Kulthum say bhi baat karta tha chat per. Kai dafa to may chat kartay kartay so jata tha. Woh intezar karti rehti thi meray jawab ka aur jab meri aankh khulti thi to woh ja chuki hoti thi. Dil to bahut dukhta tha per may karta bhi to kia karta… is say ziada nahi hota tha mujh say. 

Plan kay mutabiq saara semester guzara. Gul aur faisal nay convenience store per raat ki shift may kaam kar kay itnay paisay banai kay aglay semester ki meri fees, faisal ki fees banai. Meri income say mainay akhri semester ki kuch fees jama ki, baqi rehnay ka kharcha, aur khana peena. Woh char maheenay hamara rozana khana daal chawal hota tha… is say sasta khana nahi tha. Beech may kulthum ko bhi kuch paisay bhaijay jo is dafa bhaijay hi isi niyyat say thay kay us nay kharch karnay hain to karday khud say wada kia kay us per ghussa nahi karoonga. Kulthum ki parhai ka kharcha us ki bari behn uthati thi. Allah Allah kar kay agla semester aaya, meri aur faisal ki fees pay hui, to gul nay kaha kay woh ek aur semester off lay ga taakay woh apnay aglay semester kay liye kuch jama kar sakay. Aakhri semester may main bilkul extra kaam nahi kar saka. Final year project ki wajah say saara saara din lab may guzarta. Raat gaye farigh hota.. Kabhi kabhi to bus subah kay khanay per hi guzara kar raha hota. Semester kay final exam qareeb aa rahay thay… bhaiyon nay kaha kay ab tu nay koi gand nahi karni, you have to pass all courses or else we would be in trouble. Exams diye, Final year project defend kia, aur finally completed everything and graduated in Electronics Engineering. I won a medal for Consistent Performance. Alhamdulillah, I was able to complete it. But even at the end of all this, halaat qabu may nahi aa rahay thay. For my convocation they wanted a registration fee, us kay paisay bhi nahi thay… graduation pictures kay paisay nahi thay (yeh compulsory expenses thay jo har ek ko denay thay). Dost say paisay maang kar diye. 

Ab baith kar phir sochnay lagay kay aagay kia karna hay. May to forun pakistan jana chahta tha per bhaiyon ki degrees to abhi rehti theen aur unko akaila chor kar kaisay jaata. So it was decided that now I can do full time job and pay for their studies. Lekin un dinon may yahan work permit kay rules bahut sakht thay. Although I graduated and had the degree in my hand, govt would not give me work permit. Their condition was that I must find a job that is in the field of my studies and had to be done in 90 days from graduation. I started to send resumes but I was not getting much response. I was working at the convenience store in the meantime and kept applying. I want to say that working at the convenience store was not a legal job. For legal jobs we needed a work permit.

In those days I used to chat with kulthum regularly and I was trying my best to get her back into track for her studies. Basically, I was now doing her assignments again and was hoping she would pass. Gul had gone back to his university, Faisal was in his last year. On the second last day, one day before my deadline, I got a job in a telecom company. Yeh bahut surprising tha aur may nay Allah ka shukr ada kia keh kuch umeed nazar aai. Us raat abu ko phone kar kay bataya to Abu bhi bahut khush huay. Kaha kay shukranay ki namaz parho. Kulthum to bahut khush thi, shayad bahut arsay baad us say hans kay baat ki thi. Yeh job milnay ka matlab tha kay ab may bhaiyon ki fees day sakta hoon, ammi ka karza utaar sakta hoon kiyoun kay job mujhay saal kay $46,000 pay kar rahi thi.

Job start hotay hi mainay pooray interest say kaam kia aur bhaiyon ki fees pay ki. Faisal nay BBA complete kia aur phir MBA ka dakhla lay liya. Gul ka abhi ek saal rehta tha.. Computer Science kar raha tha. Kam say kam ab fees ki tension to nahi thi. Abu ko mainay paisay bhaijnay shroo kiye taakay ammi kay loans utarna shroo karain. Aahista aahista woh bhi utarnay shroo ho gaye. 

Kon hay tu - Part 7

 Abhi is waqe ko kuch hi din guzray hongay kay aik raat jab ghanton kulthum say baatain kar kay may soya hi tha kay thori day baad phone ki ghanti baji. Phone uthaya to abu thay… bahut udas lehjay may bolay .. Nasir Khan tumhari ammi chali gayee hay… 

Mujhay to kuch samajh na aaya kay abu kia keh rahay hain… yeh kaisa imtehan hay… Ammi kaisay chali gayeen… abhi 2 din pehlay to baat hui thi. Kaisay chali gayeen? Chota bhai Faisal saath tha, phone us ko day kar may kamray may chala gaya…. Bahut ansoo niklay per ek awaz nahi nikli. May roonga ka to bhai ko kon sambhala deyga… Ammi nay kaha tha chotay bhai kay aagay kabhi mat rona. Woh tumhay apna hero gardanta hay...us ko kamzor hotay huay kabhi na dikhana. Aur may nahi roya us kay saamnay. Gul ko bataya, woh bhi ronay lag gaya. Hum teenon canada may thay, Gul hamaray paas chutiyon may aaya hua tha… aur Ammi kay inteqal kay waqt hum teenon ikathay thay. 

Jaib may itnay paisay na thay kay pakistan ja kar ammi ka janaza attend kar sakta… midterm start honay ko thay… bar bar khayal aa raha tha kay agar woh phone cards per paisay zaya na kiye hotay to abhi ammi ko ja kar dekhta… lipat jata… Rangeen duniya achanak kali ho gayee. 

Ammi ki wasiyyat kay mutabiq un ko meray dada jan kay pehlu may bhakkar may dafan kia gaya. Abu ka to jaisay dil hi toot gaya tha. Koi nahi tha un kay paas un ka khayal rakhnay ko. Phone per har waqt baat ho nahi sakti thi… chat abu say ho nahi pati thi.. Bahut betabi walay din thay. Abu ko email bhaijta to jawab aatay aatay bhi din lag jaatay. 

Kulthum ko bataya to woh bhi ronay lagi, aur rona band nahi karti thi… mujh say ziyada shayad us ko dukh ho raha tha kiyounkeh akhri phone may ammi nay us say kapron ka naap liya tha aur us say angoothi ka size liya tha. Per mujhay kulthum say ziyada abu ki fikar khai jaa rahi thi,.. Hamari ek mazoor phuppo bhi hamaray saath rehti theen… abu say to chai ka cup nahi banta tha.. Phuppo ka khayal kaisay rakhain gay.. Phone per phuppo say baad karta to woh ammi ko yaad kar kar kay roti… duain deti… kehti thi choti si bachi thi tumhari ammi jab say us ko pala hay… ankhon kay samnay bari hui, bhai say shadi hui to bhi ghar may bachi ki tarah thi… saat bahuon may sab say choti bahu thi na ammi ghar ki… sab bahut piyar kartay thay ammi say. 

Ab phuppo nay is umar may mazoori kay saath Abu ki take care shroo ki… Allah ko pukartay aakhon say ansoo nikal aatay thay… kehta tha ya allah jis kaam kay liye ammi nay bheja tha woh khatm ho to may jaoon wapas abu ka phuppo ka khayal rakhoon. Lekin ab din bahut lambay thay. Kisi cheez may ji nahi lagta tha. Asad ka phone aaya… woh bhi rota tha… us ko kia tasalli deta, mera to apna bura haal tha. Kulthum say aahista aahista baat kam hoti gayee… us ko kaha kay kaam bahut hay, tuition parhani hain… thak jaata hoon, ab raat ko chat per baithnay ka time nahi milta. Woh bhi betaab ho jati phir jo bachay kuchay paisay us ki jaib may hotay, un say mujhay phone kar kay saaray paisay khatam kar deti. Mujhay us per aur ghussa aa jata kiyounkay mujhay pata hay woh apnay khanay kay paisay bhi phone per laga deti thi… aur phir mujhay yahan say us ko paisay bhaijnay partay… hazar baar kehta meray paas ziyada paisay nahi hain… khayal say bacha bacha kar istemal karna… lekin woh phir wohi karti. Kabhi kabhar may bahut ghussay may aa jata jab woh is tarah paisay kharch karti kiyoun kay us ko samajh kiyoun nahi aati thi… mera paas unlimited paisay to nahi hain…. Phir meray apnay khanay kay paisay khatm hona shroo ho gaye, kiyounkeh woh paisay kulthum ko bhaij deta jo woh mujhay phone karnay per kharch kar deti…. You see .. ghussa na aai to kia aai.

Ek din may nay phone ki taar nikal di. Us din us nay mujhay email kar kar kay tang kar diya… project may masroof tha, nahi dekh saka email us ki… jab dekha to koi 20 emails theen… akhri may likha tha… tumhara intezar kar rahi thi cafe per. Ab paisay khatm ho rahay hain to ghar ja rahi hoon. Nahi us nay nahi sunNa tha.. Terhi pasli toot to jaye seedhi na ho paye…

Mera dil to har cheez say uchaat tha ooper say kulthum nay sir may dum kia hua tha..project aur labs ki wajah say ziyada tuition nahi parha pa raha tha ooper say yeh paisay kharch karti jaati thi… 

Waisay abhi phir soch raha hoon.. To abhi bhi ghussa aa raha hay us per… 

Abhi inhi jhamailon say jaan nahi choot payee thi kay Abu ka phone aaya. Bahut preshan thay. Kehnay lagay Ek baat tumhay batani hay. May tumhay phone na karta lekin mujhay bilkul samajh nahi aa raha kiya karoon. May nay kaha abu kia hua… kehnay lagay kuch log aai thay aur keh rahay thay tumhari ammi nay un say qarza lay rakha tha. Ab ammi ki death ho gayee hay to paisay wapas chahyain. 

Inna Lillah… may nay kaha kitnay paisay hain… kehnay lagay koi 40 lakh… may nay kaha itnay ziyada? Kaisay? Abu nay kaha beta may to khud samajhnay ki koshish kar raha hoon. Phir kehnay lagay tumharay mamoo ka phone aaya tha woh bhi keh raha tha 12 lakh us kay denay hain.. Tumharay khaloo ka phone aaya us say bhi 50 hazar liya huay thay… may nay kaha Abu yeh hamain kiyoun nahi pata tha. Kehnay lagay, betay tumhari aami nay kabhi nahi bataya tha. 

Abu nay kaha beta preshan na hona lekin aur kis say share karta. Abu ki bebasi… it made me so helpless. Abu nay salaam kar kay phone rakh diya. May to woh saari raat sochta raha kay kahan phans gaya hoon. Na bhaiyon say kuch kaha, na kulthum say. Koi nahi samajh sakta tha. Meray paas koi solution nahi tha…. Parhai beech may chorta hoon to woh jis kay liye ammi qarza lay bethi thi woh bhi poora na hota. Parhai khatam kaisay karta… abhi to ek saal baqi tha… us ki fees kahan say aaigi…. Dimagh may khayalat ka gol pahiya tez tez chalta aur may jahan say sochna shroo karta wahin wapas ghuma kar lay aata…

Ammi,... aap nay aisa kiyoun kia… mana kar deti,.. Na aata canada,.. Saath may rehtay kam say kam aap per yeh sab bojh to na hota… is sab nay waqt say pehlay ammi ko boorha kar diya tha… lekin kia faida ab is parhai ka… maan ko to na dikha saka… baap alag preshani may.. Zindagi waqi buri tarah phans chuki thi. 

Kon hay tu - Part 6

Kulthum called Ammi in the morning while she was still in her Nursing home. Kulthum called me right after. She seemed very happy and overjoyed. Khushi may moo say jaisay alfaz nahi nikal rahay thay. Kehnay lagi kay Ammi nay bahut achi tarah baat ki aur thoray hi jumlon may jaisay woh aapas may ghul mil say gaye. All in all that was a good phone call but I still had to talk to Ammi. She was good at hiding emotions so it could be that she was nice to Kulthum but in reality the story was something else. I called Ammi that night and asked her how was her phone conversation with Kulthum. Ammi was happy. She literally said that Inshallah Allah will make it happen for you and her and she said that she is razi for her. And she said that she will talk to Abu about it. 

Ammi spoke to Abu but Abu was passive as he always said that he would not object if Ammi was ok it with it but there was something bothering him. He would have still preferred it if I married in Pakistan. You know although Abu said it and although I know he really meant well for me but I kept telling myself that once Kulthum comes to home, she will change Abus opinions. So you can say that I downplayed Abus concerns. 

Ammi spoke to Kulthum 2 or 3 times after that and Ammi asked her questions about what kind of wedding would she want and all the women stuff and asking her what kind of gift she would want. This was not going to be a typical Pakistani wedding and it wont be a traditional Indonesian wedding. So mutually we agreed that we want it a simple Islamic marriage so we dont burden our families. Abu was still not sure about all that was going on. He kept asking me to change my mind. I kept saying to him Abu, I feel that this is willed from Allah. Abu said you are moving too fast. This is not how these things are carried out. Then he would keep quiet. 

On the other hand, Kulthum and I would chat all night (my night) because she would come to internet cafe after her university was done and would spend the entire time there until the person would ask her to leave because they had to close the cafe. We discussed about everything. It was now the middle of my third year and courses were getting very hard. I had many labs to go to and then assignments all night and chat. There was hardly any sleep. Another thing that I started to do. Any money that I used to save, I started buying phone cards and would call long hours and speak to Kulthum after the internet cafe would close down. This was going out of control now. I started to pay more attention to her..even in the school, I would not really spend my time with friends, but rather go to the computer lab to send her an email. The thought of her had completely overtaken my senses. Kuch aur karnay ko soojhta hi nahi tha. I started to get worried if my grades would start to get affected. I reduced the number of tuitions that I used to teach just so that I can talk to her more. Everything was just so fluid and out of control. I started to feel the aches in the heart because I would want to know what is she doing now? What did she eat? Like everything was about her. My friends could feel it too. Honestly, now when I think it was ridiculous. But I guess thats how it is when you are in love. You just ignore the whole world and focus on that one person. That one person, if they tell you that the world is flat, you would actually reason with your mind that it could be flat. Kulthum would send me stuff in the parcel, like cross stitch with Surah Rahman ayah on it. Or she would send me cards reminding me of Allah or she would make these small crafts like keychains. It was always a surprise from her. Once she sent me an art work and it was wrapped in a piece of cloth, a brown cloth with print on it… kabhi kabhar jab koi suit ka kapra bach jata hay, us tarah ka kapra. When I opened the art work, I smelled that cloth and my heart would say this is her smell. Can you imagine if the person you love so much, you are able to smell them. This was the closest I could get to her. I could have been wrong but my heart said it was her. When I chatted with her that day, I asked what was the cloth she wrapped it in. She said couldnt find anything so she ripped one of her old shirts and wrapped it in. She started apologizing that she didnt wrap it in a new cloth and in my head I was like… how would i have smelled you otherwise. I still have that brown cloth from her shirt...

Kon hay tu - Part 5

 Allah allah kar kay Ammi ka phone aya. Jaan na nikal gayee ho jaisay. Salaam kia… phir boleen, khat mila tha. Parh liya hay. Kehnay lageen… dekh faisla tera hay aur mainay aaj tak kabhi tujhay zabardasti nahi ki.. Yahan baith kar may nahi janti woh kaisay log hain woh kaisi larki hay… lekin tu jo kehta hay sach hi ho ga. Tu meri us say ek baar baat to kara day… May nay kaha… Aur Abu kia kehtay hain.. Kehnay lageen.. Abu ka tujhay pata hay… maan jayengay.. He needs time. May nay kaha meri abu say baat karain.. Boleen… nahi abhi nahi kuch dinon baad phone karna. Phir bhaiyon ka poocha, poocha khana time say khatay ho.. Phir kaha Emergency aa gayee hay… ja rahi hoon.. Salam keh kar phone rakh diya. 

My heart was perplexed. Ammi was not in a happy mood like she normally is. There was too much explanation on her part and that was making me uneasy. I had to speak to Abu. Abu speaks less so it stresses me more. After a couple of day, I called and spoke to Abu. As usual Abu started of by talking about school and courses and how my performance was and asked when am I expected to graduate. After all the usual questions, he said that your mother spoke to me about this girl. Then he said, Tum kitnay serious ho is larki kay baaray may. I said… Abu aap kia sochtay hain. Kehnay lagay,.. Yeh shadi koi 4,5 maheenay ki commitment to hay nahi, poori zindagi ki commitment hay. Abhi tumhain sab theek lag raha ho ga lekin jab mushkil din aatay hain tab pata chalta hay kay faisala sahi tha ya nahi per meri batain tumhari samajh may abhi nahi aa rahi hongi. Kehnay lagay, mujhay aiteraz nahi hay lekin agar tum pakistan may shadi karo to mujhay ziyada khushi ho gi. May chup ho gaya. Phir kuch dayr baat kar kay salaam kia aur phone rakh diya.

Bahut dayr sochta raha… Abu kay alfaz dimagh may ghoomtay rahay… lekin dimagh bar bar ek baghi soch kay tehat yahi kehta nahi yar nasir, you can pull this off. May Abu is wrong. Just this time, he might be actually wrong. My mind went into calculation recalculation mode as to how it will play out in my life. I knew she was not from my country, I knew she was not from my culture, She didnt speak my language, I knew there was a language barrier between us as her English was not that great and I knew she was far away and I was about to risk everything although I didnt know her face to face. I said to myself…. Are you stupid or are you crazy? How does it even compute. My mind was telling me all this and my heart was telling me just one thing. She is a muslim and shouldnt that is the only that should matter. The connection between me and her is not the language or culture but the kalimah that we both profess and believe in. The bond between us the loyalty that we have for Prophet Mohammad SAW, so why am I even thinking…. Isnt this enough? I think i made up my choice right there. 

I chatted with Kulthum that day and told her that Ammi called and she was not mad but she wanted to talk to her. I gave Ammis number to her and she said that she was going to call her when it was morning in Pakistan. At the back of my head I was hoping.. Ya Allah Abu ka dil narm kar day. It was time of Fajr I still remember and I think those were the longest sujood ever in my salaat. I really did open my heart to Allah to help me. I didnt want to make a choice whereby my parents were not happy with me. I would not be accomplishing anything in my life if it was not for my parents. Their happiness was very important for me. But this torn up feeling was not something that I expected. Only Allah could help me sew my heart at that time. Now it was a waiting game and see what happens after Ammi speaks to Kulthum.