Mera sir chakra raha tha. Yeh kia ho raha tha meray saath. Kulthum aisa kaisay kar sakti hay. Boss ko call ki kay aaj kaam nahi kar sakta.. Ghar aa gaya lekin dil ko bilkul sukoon nahi mil raha tha. Bar bar kulthum ko call kar raha tha, message bhaij raha tha lekin woh agay say jawab nahi day rahi thi. Emails bhi keen, lekin koi jawab nahi aaya. Dimagh bahut disoriented sa ho raha tha… bus ghar may yahan wahan chakkar lagata… lekin kaisay dil ko sukoon dilata. Gaya wuzu kia… Allah kay rubaru khara hua aur ro ro kar duain mangi. Aaj to aisa lag raha tha namaz may bhi sukoon nahi mil raha.. Ya rabb.. Yeh kaisa imtehan tha. Kulthum ka khayal aata… bachon ka khayal aata.. Pata nahi bachon ko kiya bataya hua tha… haleema kaisay sab bardasht kar rahi ho gi… us ko samajh aa bhi raha ho ga to woh kar kia sakti hogi… thi to woh bhi sirf 8,9 saal thi.
May nay Wanda ko call ki aur poocha kay woh aaj Haleema ko school lay kar gaee hay.. Us nay kaha nahi.. Haleema ki ammi nay call nahi ki.. May nay phone rakh diya..Kiya kulthum bachon ko kisi doosray shehr na lay jaye? Kahan dhoondon ga? Phir thak haar kar abu ko phone kia. Ab ko saari baat batai… pehli dafa Abu kay aagay ansoo bahai… Abu himmat bandhatay kay may us ko phone karta hoon… baat karta hoon aisay kiyoun kia.. Abu nay phone kia lekin us nay abu ka phone bhi nahi uthaya. Abu ko us ka bahut afsos tha.. Abu nay us ko apni betiyon ki tarah treat kia tha… bari bahu thi unki… hamesha acha pesh aaye thay lekin aaj us nay Abu ka phone bhi nahi uthaya… Faisal nay phone kia.. Email kia… gul nay phone kia.. Koi jawab nahi….
Meray pait kay muscles bahut tight ho rahay thay.. May layt gaya… aisay jaisay saans band ho jayegi…. Aankhon say ansu beh rahay thay… haleema aur bachay baar baar yaad aa rahay thay… ubaidullah to abhi saal say thora bara tha.. Us ko to bilkul pata nahi ho ga kia ho raha hay..Meray pait may bahut tightness ho rahi thi… zor say ek do mukkay maray khud ko… yeh sab mera hi qusoor tha… reh reh kar kulthum kay taanay yaad aa rahi thay… agar mainay bardasht ki hoti apnay ghussay per to yeh sab na ho raha hota… us waqt yahi sahi lag raha tha kay i need this punishment… bahut maara khud ko… phir letay letay so gaya.Utha to phir haalat kharab… Faisal kamray may aaya to us nay kaha kay is tarah karnay say woh wapas aa jaigi,... us nay bahut himmat bandhai aur kaha kay isha kay liye masjid chal taakay dil thora hoslay may aai. Mainay aisay hi kia… boss bhi masjid aaya hua tha.. Usay sab kuch bataya. Us nay kaha dekho yahan baith kar koi solution to hay nahi...jaana to wapas paray ga lekin kuch din baad jao kiyounkay abhi tumhain ghussa hay aur koi ghalat kaam na kar betho. May nay kaha kal gaari milay gi… us nay kaha gaari to hay per is haalat may kaisay chalo gay. Mujhay pata tha mujhay kaam karna hay taakay mera dimagh busy ho jaye. Ek maheenay baad eid thi. Mainay socha eid say pehlay wapas pohunch jaoonga… tab tak kulthum ko mananay ki koshish karta hoon shayad maan jaye. 2 din to koi jawab na aaya kulthum ki taraf say phir us nay Whatsapp bhi disable kar diya. Phir us ki taraf say email aai kay, mera faisal pakka hay aur mujhay baar baar message na karo. Ab sab kuch qanooni tareekay say ho ga aur tumhain updates mil jayengi. Us kay baad Abu nay us ko phone kia to us nay phone utha liya. Abu nay baat ki… samjhanay ki koshish ki… per woh boli kay agar aap nay apnay betay ko waqt per samjhaya hota to aaj yeh din na hota.. Us nay mujhay mara hay aur yeh baat woh aap ko nahi batayega lekin us ki tarbiyat theek hoti to aaj may uskay saath hoti. Abu nay kaha kay mujhay us say baat karnay do taakay is maslay ko hum suljha lain. Us nay abu kaha.. Ab koi raasta nahi sawai is kay keh woh mujhay talaaq day de. Abu nay kaha..kal tum say baat ho gi.. Us nay kaha inshallah… lekin us kay baad us nay abu ka phone kabhi nahi uthaya..
Ab abu nay mujhay bhi confront kia to mainay saari baat bata di. Mera kulthum per haath uthanay ka abu ko bahut afsos tha...kehtay thay itni museebaton say tum us ko laye thay phir kiyoun aisa kiya… may kia jawab deta… phir himmat barhanay lagay kay Allah koi raasta zuroor nikalay ga. Faisal nay kulthum say us kay baat ek do dafa baat ki.. Faisal chah raha tha koi sulah safai ho jaye lekin us nay saaf yeh kaha kay woh tumhara bhai hay to tum nay to us ki hi side leni hay. Faisal ko yeh baat achi nahi lagi… us nay mujh say kaha yar please mujhay beech may na dalo. May nay us ko kaha tu fikr na kar yeh tera masla bhi nahi hay.
Us din socha kay may na duniya ki ankhon may dekh kar muqabla kar sakta hoon. Log peeth peechay mazaq banatay hongay.. Na apnay rabb kay aagay khara ho sakta hoon kay kulthum kay saath kia sulook rawa rakha… na baap say aankhay mila sakta hoon jis ko kulthum nay tarbiyyat ka taana diya… may nay thaan li kay is duniya may mera koi kaam nahi hay. May battleford shehr kay maghrabi taraf railway line per chala gaya. Wahan kaafi dair baitha raha. Bar bar sab kuch soch raha tha.. Kiya wapas ja kar bachon kay liye lar paonga.. Bachay bhi to shayad meri taraf us tarah nahi aaingay.. Zahiri baat hay maan so to ziyada hi attached hongay. Baar baar ammi ka khayal aa raha tha.. Woh bhi shayad isi tarah kay ek imtihan say guzri thi phir duniya chor gayee. Shayad aaj Ammi say mulaqat ho gi… bahut yaad aa rahi thi.. Goad may sir rakh doonga uskay… woh zuroor samajh jayegi kia hay meray dil may… Irada pukhta tha kay aaj yeh zindagi khatam kar doonga.. Lekin phir dill may achanak Allah ka darr aa gaya.. Bahut saari ayaat meray dimagh may baar baar aanay lageen…
Ahasibannasu Ainyutraqu Ainyaqulu Aamanna wahum la yuftanoon….Kia log samajhtay hain kay woh kahaingay kay hum imaan laye aur Allah un ko imtihan may na daalay ga?
La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wusaha…. Allah kabhi kisi nafs per us ki taqat ziyada bojh nahi daalta…
Walamu Annama Amwalukum wa Auladukum Fitna.. Aur jaan lo kay tumhara maal aur awlaad tumharay liye azmaish hain…..
Mera mind change ho gaya.. Mujhay ab kuch umeed nazar aanay lagi thi.. Yeh sab jo ho raha tha yeh us baray plan ka hissa tha jo Allah nay meri taqdeer may likh diya tha… Allah nay azmaish may daala tha lekin may to gunah karnay wala tha. Usi waqt masjid gaya wuzu kia aur salaat tauba parhi… phir dill ko kuch sukoon hua aur yeh soch liya kay jo bhi ho us ko face karna hay.
Eid say ek din pehlay may wapas Saint John aa gaya. Seedha ghar gaya to darwaizay per police ka ek notice laga hua tha kay un kay office ko contact karoon. May ander gaya to har cheez bikhri pari thi.. Kuch saman ghayab tha ziyada tar waisay hi rakha tha… har cheez may mujhay un ki yaad aati thi… kahan ubaidullah khirki kay samnay khara hota tha… woh parday per Abdullah kay lagai huay chocolate kay dhabbay.. Haleema ki drawings jis may meri aur kulthum ki tasweer banati thi… saifullah kay khilonay… sab kuch dill per baar baar hathoray barsa raha tha. Dil jaisay muthi may aa gaya tha… dimagh may yaadon kay pahiye zor zor ghoomtay thay.. Endless cycle...
Raat bahut mushkil say guzri.. Agli subah police station gaya woh notice lay kar jo darwazay per laga hua tha… Wahan unhon mujhay ek file di kay court aap ko yeh file serve karna chah rahi thi per ghar per koi nahi tha. May nay file li aur ghar aa gaya. Khol kar parha to ek aur imtehan mera intezar kar raha tha.
Ya rabb… abhi mushkilaat ka yeh pahar aur kitna ooncha tha.
