Kon hay tu - Part 23

 Visitation rights kay settlement kay liye mujhay Kulthum ko 1 talaaq dena pari kiyounkeh us nay shart rakh di thi aur may bachon say door nahi reh sakta tha. Halaankay is 1 talaaq say Canadian govt kay nazdeek shadi per koi asar nahi parhta tha, woh phir bhi usay Separated hi count kartay thay lekin hamaray deen kay hisab say to talaq hi thi. 40 din guzar gaey aur kulthum rujoo karnay per razamand na hui.

Battleford say wapas aanay kay baad maynay Taxi chalana shroo kar di. Taxi kay kaam may sochnay ko kuch nahi hota tha aur mera dimagh har waqt kulthum aur bachon ko sochta rehta tha. Phir taxi may chahay may 10 ghantay kaam karoon ya ziyada, yeh meray ooper tha. Mujhay apna dimagh busy rakhnay kay liye is say ziyada achi job nahi mil sakti thi. May roz taqreeban 15-16 ghantay taxi chalata.. Us waqt tak chalata jab tak aankhein neend say band na honay lag jaateein. Phir ghar ja kar so jaata, uthta to phir taxi lay kar nikal parta..Sirf intezar karta kay Sunday kab aayega aur may bachon ko mil sakoonga. Sunday aata to bachon ki har farmaish poori karta… icecream, candies, jo woh mangtay kiyounkeh ek hi din to tha unkay saath bitaanay kay liye. 

Phir ek din jab bachay meray paas aai huay thay, Ubaidullah nay kaha keh us kay pait may dard hay. May nay samjha koi gas waghaira ho gi. Us ko thora sa eno pani may daal kar pilaya per araam nahi aaya. Bilkul naheef sa ho raha tha aur har waqt leta rehta tha. Mujhay fikr hui. Mainay kulthum ko kaha kay may us ko hospital lay kar ja raha hoon aur waheen say us ko update karoonga. Jab hospital gaey to doctors nay kaha kay saans ka masla lagta hay. Unhon nay us kay test kiye to pata chala pneumonia ho gaya hay. Jab xray report aai to doctor bhi preshan thay kay pneumonia pooray lungs may phail chuka tha. Unhon nay ubaidullah ko forun hospital may daakhil kar diya aur kaha kay us ko 24 hours monitor kareingay. May nay kulthum ko bataya to woh bhi bahut tension may aa gayee. Un dinon woh yahan kay ek college say teachers diploma ka course kar rahi thi. Us ki roz 8 ghantay classes hoti theen aur har waqt koi na koi exam chal raha hota tha. 

Woh usi waqt hospital aai aur mujhay kaha kay main ghar chala jaaon aur bachon ka khayal karoon. Yeh itni close meri kulthum say pehli mulaqat thi court hearing kay baad. Haleema, Saifullah aur abdullah teenon school jaatay thay. May nay kulthum say kaha may un ki take care kar loonga. Kulthum boli.. Tumharay kaam ka kiya hoga.. May nay kaha kaam ki tension na lo.. May dekh loonga. Us waqt meray dil may ek nayee umeed jaag rahi thi.. Shayad Allah nay ubaidullah kay zareeay hamain ikatha karna tha. Meri kulthum say roz hospital may mulaqat honay lagi aur hum mukhtalif topics per baat karnay lagay.. Kabhi kabhi to bilkul aisa lagta jaisay hum ghar may baithay hain.. Kulthum mujh say baat kartay huay bahut ehtiaat say kaam leti.. Yeh us ki nature kay bahut khilaaf lag raha tha. Mujhay aisa lagnay laga jaisay us ko bhi apni ghaltiyon ka eshsaas hua hay. Mujh may himmat na hui kay us say poochon kay kia woh wapas meray ghar aaigi… bus us say baat karta yeh samajh kar kay aaj ka din to guzar jaye.. Kal ki kal dekhi jayegi. Kulthum nay college jana chor diya tha aur us kay teachers kay message aa rahay thay kay agar us nay classes dobara attend na keen, to us ka admission khatam kar dengay. Kulthum ka to bus yahi response tha.. Apnay bachay ko chor kar kahan jaaoon. Mainay kaha apnay supervisor ko email likho aur saari baat batao…. Shayad woh koi hal tajweez karay. Us ki email bhi mainay likh kar di. Supervisor usi din kuch teachers kay saath ubaidullah ko dekhnay hospital aaye. Us nay kulthum ko kaha kay agar woh apni assigments saari complete kar lay aur exam likh lay to pass ho sakti hay. Ab kulthum to taqreeban 2 maheenay ki classes miss kar chuki thi aur us ka koi mood nahi tha assignments karnay ka. May nay kaha assignments ikathi to karo… dikhao kia karna hay.

Phir wohi hua jo hamesha hota aaya tha…. Us ki saari assigments may nay aur Gul nay kar kay jama karaeen. Us kay jo online exams thay woh bhi mainay likhay. Nateeja: woh pass ho gayee.

Ubaidullah taqreeban 4 maheenay hospital may raha. Jahan is ki wajah say hum sab bahut thak chukay thay wahan main dil may is baat say khush tha kay kulthum ko meri thori qadr to hui. Aakhri din jab ubaidullah discharge hua.. Mujhay is baat ki fikr khai ja rahi thi kay ab kulthum say mulaqat nahi ho payegi….to ghar chortay hi mainay us say poocha...kia tumhara dil nahi karta kay hum ikathay rahain aur yeh family sab ikathi ho.. Us nay kaha.. Nahi… mera faisla change nahi hua hay… agar tum nay aisi batain karni hain to main tumhari gari may nahi baithoongi. Is baat nay phir dil tor diya tha… aah.. Kulthum aakhir chahti kia hoo..

Is waqiah kay baad kulthum may thori to narmi yeh aai kay ab woh mujhay bachon ko ziyada waqt apnay saath rehnay deti. Kabhi kabhar to poora poora hafta. Ab may waqi bachon kay saath connect karnay laga… unko quran parhana shroo kia… aur bahut batain kartay thay hum deen say mutalliq. Haleema kay bhi bahut sawal hotay thay aur kai sawal to aisay kay mujhay jawab detay sharm aa jati.. Phir us ko kehta kay ammi say poochna.

Us kay baad kulthum ki job lag gayee.. Har roz kisi different school may jaana hota tha usay. Woh subah mujhay phone karti kay us ko drop kar doon. May ghulamon ki tarah hazir. Kabhi yahan kabhi wahan. Yeh ihsaas hota tha kay woh mujhay istimaal kar rahi hay lekin us baaray may main sochna nahi chaahta tha… yeh samajhta tha kay ab us ka dil badal jayega… ab badal jayega… Halaankay us ki job shroo ho gayee thi per abhi us ki official graduation nahi hui thi college say. Us nay jab ghar walon ko bataya kay fulan date ko us ki graduation hay, to ek behan Sister wiwik nay kaha kay woh Canada aayegi graduation attend karnay. Sister wiwik nay mujhay message kia aur kuch help maangi visit visa ki application kay liye. Apnay visa aur ticket ka sab us nay hi pay kia tha. Sister wiwik aai to bachay bhi khush kay khala aai hay. 

Sister wiwik aur kulthum ki nature may bahut farq hay. Sister wiwik ki soch mujh say ziyada qareebtar hay. Khair graduation ka din aaya to main sab ko convocation hall may lay gaya.. Takreeban 3000 students ki graduation thi us din. May nay kulthum ko aik camera bhi gift kia us ki graduation per. Sister wiwik samajhti thi kay may kulthum kay saath wapas milna chahta hoon aur main chahta tha kay woh meri help karay. Graduation kay baad school ki chutiyan ho gayeen. Sab bachon nay kaha sair per jaana hay. Main sab bachon kulthum aur sister wiwik ko lay kar long drive per gaya. 2 din ka trip tha.. Bachon nay bahut enjoy kia. Mera to ek hi mann tha kay us kay dil may bhi koi chingari bharkay… lekin aisa na hua.. Ya hua per mujhay pata na chala. Hum wapas aa gaye.. Us kay baad Sister wiwik aur kulthum may roz hi koi problem hoti… sister wiwik kehti kay tum bahut fuzool kharch ho.. Bachon ko ghar par khana bana kar kiyoun nahi deti...kulthum har doosray din mall aur shopping per jaati. Aksar jab un ki shopping khatam hoti to woh mujhay call kartay aur main un ko ghar chor deta. Sister wiwik kay jaanay say ek din pehlay woh dono mall gaey aur waheen kisi baat per jhagra ho gaya. Mujhay call kia.. Main wapas chornay ja raha tha… to rastay may dono larr rahay thay aur ro bhi rahay thay.. Mujhay kulthum per ghussa aa raha tha kay kiyoun zaban darazi kar rahi hay lekin may nay us ko mana nahi kia.. Bus dabbay lafzon may kaha kay chup ho jao woh bari hain. Per hamaisaha ki tarah woh jab ghussay may hoti hay to kisi ki care nahi karti. Ghar chora to sister wiwik nay kaha mujhay kuch aur market say lena hay… mujhay lay jaogay… maynay kaha kiyoun nahi. Kulthum ghar utar gayee aur sister wiwik ko lay kar may wahan say nikal aaya. Woh darasal mujh say baat karna chahti thi. 

Sister wiwik nay aansoo poonchtay huay mujhay kaha kay woh meri choti behan hay per mujhay pata hay woh ghalat hay. Hamaray khandaan kay sab log tumhay qusoor war thehratay hain aur mujhay bhi bahut mayusi hui thi jab pata chala tha kay tum nay kulthum per haath uthaya hay. Lekin mujhay ab samajh aati hay kay tumhain ghussa kiyounkar aaya ho ga. Kehnay lagi.. Tumhari bari behan honay kay naatay tumhain kehti hoon kay kulthum ko bhool jao aur kisi achi aurat say shadi karo jo tumhay samjhay… phir talqeen ki namaz baqaidgi say parho.. Allah say khair mango apnay liye bhi aur bachon kay liye bhi. Agar may samajhti kay kulthum tumharay imaan kay liye achi hay to bahut koshish karti us ko mananay ka liye per woh ab bahut badal gaee hay.. Woh apnay maan baap tak say baat nahi karti…. Behan jo itnay door say aai hay paisa kharch kar kay us say kaisay baat ki hay us nay, to may kaisay expect karoon kay woh tumhay izzat day gi.

Main sister wiwik ki batain sun kar bahut ghamgeen ho gaya lekin dil may aik baat thi… kulthum say aik baar aur poochon shayad maan jaye. 

Sister wiwik wapas chali gayee aur mujh may himmat na hui kay kulthum say is topic per dobara baat kar sakoon. Donon behnon may khuda jaanay kia jhagra hua tha kay aajtak dono aapas may nahi boltein. Us kay baad taqreeban ek saal tak kulthum aur meray darmiyan raabita to raha, baat bhi ho jaati thi per koi improvement na hui. May is umeed may hi tha kay woh sab kuch bhool kar wapas aa jayegi per woh apnay iraday may attal thi. 2020 kay ramadan kay baad eid aai to may nay tahiyya kia kay mujhay is ka faisala karna hay kay us kay kia iraday hain. Mujhay yeh haan naan wali relationship bilkul pasand na thi. Eid say ek din pehlay mainay us say phir face to face poocha kay kia woh mujh say dubara nikah karegi. Us nay saaf inkaar kar diya aur kaha kay may ab tum per trust nahi kar sakti. Yeh meray liye ab ek red line thi. Is kay baad to koi jawaz nahi rehta tha. Woh kehtay hain na jab wapsi ka koi raasta khula rakha ho to imaan kamzor ho hi jaata hay… mujhay pata tha kay woh mujh say dobarah nikah kar sakti hay kiyounkay mainay us ko ek hi talaq di thi..to dil kay kisi konay may yeh baat to thi kay Allah dil kay halaat badal deta hay… per itni dafa inkaar ka matlab inkaar hi tha. May nay dill ko samjha liya kay ab koi chance nahi hay. 

Dill kay is faislay nay jahan mujhay dukh diya wahan ek sukoon bhi tha kay ab haan naan wala chakkar to khatam hua. Aur mujhay bhi ab us ki taraf say umeed khatam kar deni chahye. Kukthum say raabta kam say kamtar hota gaya. Sirf bachon ki hadd tak baat hoti aur bass. Woh bhi shayad apnay kaam may masroof rehnay lagi. Us nay mujhay kabhi call nahi ki kay falan jaga chor do ya falan jaga say pick kar lo… may bhi bachon ki company may khush tham, na us say ziyada sochta, na hi koi umeed lagata. 

Phir Nov 2020 may ek raat jab bachay meray paas thay us ka phone aaya. Ro rahi thi aur rotay rotay phone per bataya kay us ki ammi ka inteqal ho gaya hay. Main bhi ghamgeen ho gaya.. Haleema aur saifullah meray saath baithay thay..kulthum speaker phone per thi… un ka rona sun kar un kay bhi aansoo nikal aaye. May nay tasalli di aur kaha kay abhi to corona ki wajah say flights band hain tum wahan janazay may ponch to nahi sakti lekin quran parho, istaghfar karo durood parho duain maango. Us nay kaha.. Acha may chalti hoon… keh kar phone kaat diya. 

Aglay din subah may kaam per tha. Jummay ka din tha. Mujhay uljhan ho rahi thi kay kulthum ka na jaanay kia haal ho ga. Us ko call kia.. Shayad ro ro kar us ka gala kharab ho chuka tha. May nay poocha kay kaam per nahi gayee.. Kehnay lagi kay school walon nay ek haftay ki chutti di hay kay ammi ka inteqal ho gaya hay. May nay kaha.. Dekho.. Itnay saal ho gaey hain tum nay masjid may qadam nahi rakha.. Yeh Allah ki taraf say tumhain ek alaamat bhi ho sakti hay…. Aaj jummay ka din hay… masjid may jao namaz parho.. Ammi kay liye maghfirat ki duain mango… quran parho… ab to yahi un kay kaam aana hay.. Phir is say tumhara apna imaan bhi mazboot ho ga… Kehnay lagi.. Mujhay matt kaho masjid jaanay kay liye… may nay kaha kiyoun na kahoon.. Kehnay lagi… chalti hoon… aur phone kaat diya. 

May abhi soch hi raha tha kay us ka text aaya. Neechay real conversation hay.

Kulthum:

i think it's time to tell you, I already choose different way.

 

Me:

What does that mean?

 

Kulthum:

I was sick and I had dream Jesus hugged and I could feel physically the pain from my body pulled out. He stood infront of me and smiled. His image was not the same with those in the church. He has long hair and he kept smiling at me while he was floating in the air until slowly he moved further and disappeared. I woke up and I felt different that I never felt before in my life .

Me:

Are you in your senses?

 

Kulthum:

Yes I am. I didn't have that dream last night. Long way back I accepted Jesus, Son of God, The Father and Holy Spirit. Don't ask me why and no one taking part of it. It is my own. 

is there any one will come to kill me? 

 

Me:

You betrayed the only true religion of Allah, Islam and the religion of Mohammad Arabi to go after a corrupt religion. This is more sad to me than the death of your mother

Nobody needs to kill you.. You killed yourself.

 

Kulthum:

You don't need to be sad.

 

Me:

I can't believe the fall from grace. Your parents groomed you to be the beacon of Islam and you betrayed their efforts.

Did you tell ibu about that?

Did you tell papa?

Does the sisters know it?

 

Kulthum:

Not yet. 

and I hope you don't interfere between me and kids because I want to tell them by myself .

I never influence kids, they have their own way. 

but I want to talk to them by myself. 

 

Me:

You think by betraying the covenant that you had with Allah, you can ever be peaceful? You have lost the hidaya. You remember i told you that the fire you started will come back to you. This is what i meant. You chose that fire. 

Why would you choose the path that has no salvation at the end? 

 

Kulthum:

By leaving you and asking for talaq from you ? 

 

Me:

Talaq and leaving is small matter now

 

How can you do this kulthum? What about all the learning you had about deen? You forgot all that?

The only reason i married you was because of your religion and today you buried that reason.

 

Kulthum:

funny! That's how most of Muslim men. When it suit you, you mention what ever you wish. And once I started to mentioned the same thing, look all those bla bla bla bla 

 

Me:

What relationship did i have with you? You are not from my family, not from my country, you don't even speak my language. What business did i have to even form a relationship with you. It was your religion that was common with me. It is very convenient for you to dismiss this fact. If you were a Christian from Indonesia, do you even think i would care?

 

Kulthum:

What's the problem now? So just eat your own words now ===> "all these don't mean much now". 

Woh apnay raastay say bhatak chuki thi. Us kay dil dimagh per taalay lag gaey thay.. majazi khuda ki nafi kartay kartay aaj us nay Haqeeqi khuda ki bhi nafi kar di thi… astaghfirullah...May bahut dair sadmay may raha..phir Allah say maafi maangi kay us nay mujh jaisay gunehgar ko kam say kam imaan ki dolat to di hay… reh reh kar bachon ka khayal aa raha tha kay yeh sab jab un ko pata chalay ga to un ka kia reaction ho ga. 

Ab kulthum nay har woh naata, rishta, taaluq, torr diya tha jis say wapsi ka raasta ban sakta tha. Jahan ek taraf us kay is faislay say may bahut ghamgeen aur mayoos tha wahan mujhay apna agla imtehan saaf nazar aa raha tha kay apnay bachon ka imaan bachana hay mujhay. Kaheen maan kay piyar may woh Allah kay raastay say na bhatak jayen.

Aah Kulthum!!!…  Surayya say zameen per aasman nay hamain day maara.

Deen bhi gaya duniya bhi gayee aur akhrat bhi… Kulthum kaisa ghaatay ka sauda kia tum nay. 

Kon hay tu - Part 22

 Yeh file thi us case ki jo kulthum nay mujh per kiya tha. Maqsad us ka mujh say separation tha aur bachon ki custody lekin us maqsad tak ponchnay kay liye us case may har harba istimal kia gaya tha.

May jaisay jaisay parhta jaata meray aansoo behtay jaatay… yeh thi woh aurat jis kay liye may saat sumandar paar gaya, mushkulaat jheeleen, aur ab yeh mujhay sar-e-bazaar nanga karnay kay darpay thi. Us may likha tha keh mainay hamesha us ko abuse kia hay… jis din say woh canada aai aur us din tak jab tak us nay mera ghar chora…. Yeh likha tha kay may hamesha bachon per ghussa karta aur haleema ko mara bhi tha… yeh haleema ko maarnay wala kahan say jhoot daal diya.. Woh meri pari meri shahzadi.. Us ko kaisay maar sakta hoon.. Us may likha tha may us say shop kay saaray kaam karwata tha aur us ko us ka muawza nahi deta tha...yeh bhi likha tha kay us ko jismani tashaddud karta tha jis say us ka daant bhi toot gaya tha… yeh bhi likha tha kay tashaddud ki wajah say abdullah ki paidaish kay waqt us ki pregnancy ki complications ho gayeen theen….yeh bhi likha tha kay woh mujh say itna darr gaee thi kay us nay itnay saal kisi say madad nahi maangi kiyounke woh yeh samajhti thi kay may us ko jaan say maar doonga…. Yeh bhi likha tha kay may us ko jaib kharch nahi deta tha,.... Bachon kay khanay kay paisay nahi deta tha… us ko bachon kay doodh kay liye mujh say bheek mangna parti thi… 

Yeh bhi likha tha kay ghar chornay ka plan us nay shop band honay say 4 mahinay pehlay hi bana liya tha…. Yeh kaisay possible tha…. Shop band honay kay baad to kai dafa hum intimate bhi huay thay… Battlefod jaanay say ek do din pehlay tak… akhri raat tak… mujhay khud say ghin aa rahi thi… us kay dimagh may plan tha aur may us ko apna piyar baant raha tha… Us may yeh bhi likha tha,... is plan ko kamyaab karnay may us ki muawan Linda thi… Jab ghar chor kar shelter gaye to Wanda apni taxi may sab ko lay kar gayee...saari tasweer mukammal ho chuki thi...

Is sab ki base per woh court say appeal karti hay kay bachay us kay hiwalay kiye jayen kiyounke may ek saffak aur irresponsible baap hoon. 

Yeh parh kar to meri rooh hi kaamp gayee… kaisay kaisay ilzam laga diye thay. Meri daari topi dekh kar kisi ko bhi yeh sab yaqeen karnay may koi dushwari to honi nahi thi. Is case ka jawab mujhay daakhil karwana tha warna case ka decision meray khilaf bhi aa sakta tha. Mujh say jawab likha nahi jaa raha tha.. Jab parhta to mujhay abu ki baat yaad aa jati jo kehtay thay.. Pakistan may shadi karo kiyoun bahar kartay ho… mujhay apnay alfaz yaad aatay… us ko deen ki wajah say chuna. Kahan hay woh deen aaj.. Kaisay adalat may mujh per yeh jhootay ilzaam laga diye… nafrat ho rahi thi us say. May nay hamari community kay ek buzurg jin ka naam Uncle Abid hay, ko contact kiya… woh meray ghar aai aur unhon nay us case ka jawab dakhil karaanay kay liye help ki. Woh bhi abu ki tarah bahut himmat bandhaatay. Jab kulthum aai thi canada, to woh hamain milnay aai thay.. Us ko apni beti ki tarah samajhtay thay… 

Us kay jawab ka ek hissa bachon ki custody say mutalliq tha. Uncle nay samjhaya kay sab bachon ki custody woh tumhain nahi dengay… haleema aur saifullah shayad shared custody may aa jain lekin chotay do to adalat maan hi kay hawalay karaygi. May bachon ko alag nahi karna chahta tha. Phir ubaidullah to bahut chota tha… may chahta bhi to us ki take care nahi kar sakta tha. Mainay custody challenge karnay ka irada chor diya aur bachay kulthum ko day diye. Yahi socha kam say kam woh ikathay to rahaingay.

Uncle kehnay lagay may kal us say ja kar milta hoon… samjhata hoon..Aglay din woh us ko milnay gaey per us nay milnay say inkaar kar diya… mainay phone kar kay poocha uncle aap milay thay us say… kehnay lagay.. Nahi beta nahi mila… mujhay bahut afsos hay kay us nay milnay say inkaar kar diya… mujhay pata hay tum chahtay ho kay us say sulah ho jaye lekin jitna mera tajruba hay yeh sulah mushkil lagti hay. May nay un say kaha ji acha aur khuda hafiz kar kay phone rakh diya.

Phir kulthum ka email faisal ko aaya kay agar woh kisi ko allow karay gi mediation kay liye to woh maulana iqbal hain. Maulana sahib ek dafa hamaray ghar thehray thay… woh Alberta province may rehtay thay aur hamaray haan ek masjid kay program kay silsilay may aai thay. Mujhay thori umeed hui kay shayad ab masla hall ho jaye (dekho mujh buddhu ko…. Itna sab kuch woh meray saath kar gayee aur may ab bhi soch raha hoon kay yeh masla hall ho jaye)...Maulana iqbal ko email likhi aur un ko sab kuch bataya.. Unhon may mujhay phone kia aur kaha kay un say jo ho saka woh kareingay… un ki kulthum say baat hui aur phir unhon nay wapas mujhay phone kia kay there is nothing to save in the marriage. Un kay alfaz bahut tursh aur tayz thay… kehnay lagay woh tum say talaq chahti hay aur is kay ilawa koi aur shart maanNay ko tayyar nahi hay.. Kehti hay tum agar us ko talaq do to woh tumhain bachon say mulaqat allow kar sakti hay. Phir mujhay kehnay lagay… dekho beta hum jo ghalat zindagi may kartay hain hamain us ka phal kabhi kabhar isi duniya may mil jaata hay… lekin tum is ko aisay socho kay is may Allah nay tumaharay liye behtari rakhi hay. Yeh museebat yahan jheel lo gay to aglay jahan ki manzilain asaan ho jayengi.. 

Mujhay maulana sahib per bhi bahut ghussa aa raha tha… is saaray process may mediation kahan thee… he was supposed to fix this problem… koi demands poochtay us say.. Koi negotiation kartay… yeh kia one way mediation thi… bus may nay kaha mujhay talaq nahi deni. Pata nahi meray dil may yeh atak gayee thi kay mainay kuch aisa bura nahi kia kay may talaaq doon… dimagh samajhta tha kay us ko apnay khontay say baandh kar to nahi rakh sakta uski marzi kay baghair per dil ki apni hi logic thi. Bus tahiyya kar liya nahi doonga talaq. 

Court ki pehli hearing aai. Bahut sharm aa rahi thi.. Wahan pata nahi kis kis qamash kay banday court may baithay huay thay aur kulthum bibi nay beech chorahay la khara kia tha. Saari zindagi court katchehri say bhadnay walay ko beech may la phansaya. Judge nay us ka case parha, mera case parha, phir custody per faisla diya kay woh kulthum ko milay gi. Mujh per court order lagaya kay main un kay ghar kay qareeb nahi ja sakta aur agar gaya to arrest ho sakta hoon. May bus wahan baith kar saaray faisaly sunta raha. Woh bhi baithi thi apnay wakeel kay saath. Mera to koi wakeel nahi tha. Us ko saari facilities provide ki gayee theen...aurat thi na. May nay us waqt dil may khuda ko pukara... Ya Allah tu dekh raha hay na is zameen kay Na khudaon nay aaj faisala kar kay mujhay meray bachon say door kar diya… kia tu is zulm ko aisay hi honay dayga.. Kia mujhay is ka badla nahi milay ga?

Court nay 2 haftay baad ki aid aur date rakhi.

Ghar aaya to dil bahut bojhal tha… May nay malik makan ko contact kia kay may ab itnay baray ghar may nahi reh sakta .. khali karna chahta hoon. Uncle Saeed ko bulaya… jo jo cheezain samajh aati theek sab pack kar deen .. jo wahan say nahi layja sakta tha woh Kijiji per laga kar baich deen. Kulthum ka shadi ka zewar, shaadi ka jora, anguthi… sab ghar may hi paray thay.. Woh kuch saath nahi lay kar gayee thi… jab dil may meray liye nafrat bhar kar lay gayee to in sab ki jaga kahaan banti hay… Mainay jo storage karai per lay rakhi thi waheen sab samaan rakh diya… aik 1 bedroom kay chotay say apartment may shift ho gaya…

Agli court hearingp per judge nay visitation hours set kiye… Har Sunday… 11 bajay say 5 bajay… yeh insaaf tha is qanoon ka…yeh insaaf tha us maan ka apnay bachon kay baap kay liye. Jin bachon say meri nazrain saara din na hatTi theen.. Un say ab aisay miloonga jaisay koi qaidi ko jail may milnay aata hay… Milna ka tareeqa bhi bataya gaya… may direct bachay pick nahi kar sakta… ek doosra aadmi (jo meray case may Uncle Saeed tha) jaiga aur bachay lay ga aur phir woh wapas bhi kar kay aaiga.. Uncle saeed us waqt tak meray saath rahay ga jab tak bachay meray paas hain...yes supervised visitation thi...May Uncle Saeed kay saath jaata aur kulthum kay ghar say door utar kar khara ho jaata… phir woh bachon ko lay kar aata aur mujhay pick kar leta. Phir 5 bajay isi tarah hum bachon ko wapas lay jaatay. Aisa kuch 4 maheenay chalta raha. 

Court ki hearing hui...may nay request ki kay mujhay ziyada time chahye aur non-supervised. Judge nay non-supervised accept kar liya aur time barha kar 6 bajay kar diya. Abhi tak official time yahi hay lekin aagay kuch waqiaat hotay hain kay kulthum bachon ko ziyada time kay liye allow kar deti hay.

Poora saal taqreeban isi schedule per visitations chalti raheen. Kulthum say rabita bahut kam hota tha..sirf bachon ki hadd tak…Abu ab bhi kehtay thay kay Allah say dua karo sab theek ho jayega...unki yeh baat mujhay phir umeed dila deti… ab may yeh samajhta tha apnay liye nahi bachon kay liye hi wapas aa jaye… Allah say dua mangta tha kay us ka dil narm kar day.  

Kon hay tu - Part 21

 Mera sir chakra raha tha. Yeh kia ho raha tha meray saath. Kulthum aisa kaisay kar sakti hay. Boss ko call ki kay aaj kaam nahi kar sakta.. Ghar aa gaya lekin dil ko bilkul sukoon nahi mil raha tha. Bar bar kulthum ko call kar raha tha, message bhaij raha tha lekin woh agay say jawab nahi day rahi thi. Emails bhi keen, lekin koi jawab nahi aaya. Dimagh bahut disoriented sa ho raha tha… bus ghar may yahan wahan chakkar lagata… lekin kaisay dil ko sukoon dilata. Gaya wuzu kia… Allah kay rubaru khara hua aur ro ro kar duain mangi. Aaj to aisa lag raha tha namaz may bhi sukoon nahi mil raha.. Ya rabb.. Yeh kaisa imtehan tha. Kulthum ka khayal aata… bachon ka khayal aata.. Pata nahi bachon ko kiya bataya hua tha… haleema kaisay sab bardasht kar rahi ho gi… us ko samajh aa bhi raha ho ga to woh kar kia sakti hogi… thi to woh bhi sirf 8,9 saal thi.

May nay Wanda ko call ki aur poocha kay woh aaj Haleema ko school lay kar gaee hay.. Us nay kaha nahi.. Haleema ki ammi nay call nahi ki.. May nay phone rakh diya..Kiya kulthum bachon ko kisi doosray shehr na lay jaye? Kahan dhoondon ga? Phir thak haar kar abu ko phone kia. Ab ko saari baat batai… pehli dafa Abu kay aagay ansoo bahai… Abu himmat bandhatay kay may us ko phone karta hoon… baat karta hoon aisay kiyoun kia.. Abu nay phone kia lekin us nay abu ka phone bhi nahi uthaya. Abu ko us ka bahut afsos tha.. Abu nay us ko apni betiyon ki tarah treat kia tha… bari bahu thi unki… hamesha acha pesh aaye thay lekin aaj us nay Abu ka phone bhi nahi uthaya… Faisal nay phone kia.. Email kia… gul nay phone kia.. Koi jawab nahi…. 

Meray pait kay muscles bahut tight ho rahay thay.. May layt gaya… aisay jaisay saans band ho jayegi…. Aankhon say ansu beh rahay thay… haleema aur bachay baar baar yaad aa rahay thay… ubaidullah to abhi saal say thora bara tha.. Us ko to bilkul pata nahi ho ga kia ho raha hay..Meray pait may bahut tightness ho rahi thi… zor say ek do mukkay maray khud ko… yeh sab mera hi qusoor tha… reh reh kar kulthum kay taanay yaad aa rahi thay… agar mainay bardasht ki hoti apnay ghussay per to yeh sab na ho raha hota… us waqt yahi sahi lag raha tha kay i need this punishment… bahut maara khud ko… phir letay letay so gaya.Utha to phir haalat kharab… Faisal kamray may aaya to us nay kaha kay is tarah karnay say woh wapas aa jaigi,... us nay bahut himmat bandhai aur kaha kay isha kay liye masjid chal taakay dil thora hoslay may aai. Mainay aisay hi kia… boss bhi masjid aaya hua tha.. Usay sab kuch bataya. Us nay kaha dekho yahan baith kar koi solution to hay nahi...jaana to wapas paray ga lekin kuch din baad jao kiyounkay abhi tumhain ghussa hay aur koi ghalat kaam na kar betho. May nay kaha kal gaari milay gi… us nay kaha gaari to hay per is haalat may kaisay chalo gay. Mujhay pata tha mujhay kaam karna hay taakay mera dimagh busy ho jaye. Ek maheenay baad eid thi. Mainay socha eid say pehlay wapas pohunch jaoonga… tab tak kulthum ko mananay ki koshish karta hoon shayad maan jaye. 2 din to koi jawab na aaya kulthum ki taraf say phir us nay Whatsapp bhi disable kar diya. Phir us ki taraf say email aai kay, mera faisal pakka hay aur mujhay baar baar message na karo. Ab sab kuch qanooni tareekay say ho ga aur tumhain updates mil jayengi. Us kay baad Abu nay us ko phone kia to us nay phone utha liya. Abu nay baat ki… samjhanay ki koshish ki… per woh boli kay agar aap nay apnay betay ko waqt per samjhaya hota to aaj yeh din na hota.. Us nay mujhay mara hay aur yeh baat woh aap ko nahi batayega lekin us ki tarbiyat theek hoti to aaj may uskay saath hoti. Abu nay kaha kay mujhay us say baat karnay do taakay is maslay ko hum suljha lain. Us nay abu kaha.. Ab koi raasta nahi sawai is kay keh woh mujhay talaaq day de. Abu nay kaha..kal tum say baat ho gi.. Us nay kaha inshallah… lekin us kay baad us nay abu ka phone kabhi nahi uthaya..

Ab abu nay mujhay bhi confront kia to mainay saari baat bata di. Mera kulthum per haath uthanay ka abu ko bahut afsos tha...kehtay thay itni museebaton say tum us ko laye thay phir kiyoun aisa kiya… may kia jawab deta… phir himmat barhanay lagay kay Allah koi raasta zuroor nikalay ga. Faisal nay kulthum say us kay baat ek do dafa baat ki.. Faisal chah raha tha koi sulah safai ho jaye lekin us nay saaf yeh kaha kay woh tumhara bhai hay to tum nay to us ki hi side leni hay. Faisal ko yeh baat achi nahi lagi… us nay mujh say kaha yar please mujhay beech may na dalo. May nay us ko kaha tu fikr na kar yeh tera masla bhi nahi hay. 

Us din socha kay may na duniya ki ankhon may dekh kar muqabla kar sakta hoon. Log peeth peechay mazaq banatay hongay.. Na apnay rabb kay aagay khara ho sakta hoon kay kulthum kay saath kia sulook rawa rakha… na baap say aankhay mila sakta hoon jis ko kulthum nay tarbiyyat ka taana diya… may nay thaan li kay is duniya may mera koi kaam nahi hay. May battleford shehr kay maghrabi taraf railway line per chala gaya. Wahan kaafi dair baitha raha. Bar bar sab kuch soch raha tha.. Kiya wapas ja kar bachon kay liye lar paonga.. Bachay bhi to shayad meri taraf us tarah nahi aaingay.. Zahiri baat hay maan so to ziyada hi attached hongay. Baar baar ammi ka khayal aa raha tha.. Woh bhi shayad isi tarah kay ek imtihan say guzri thi phir duniya chor gayee. Shayad aaj Ammi say mulaqat ho gi… bahut yaad aa rahi thi.. Goad may sir rakh doonga uskay… woh zuroor samajh jayegi kia hay meray dil may… Irada pukhta tha kay aaj yeh zindagi khatam kar doonga.. Lekin phir dill may achanak Allah ka darr aa gaya.. Bahut saari ayaat meray dimagh may baar baar aanay lageen… 

Ahasibannasu Ainyutraqu Ainyaqulu Aamanna wahum la yuftanoon….Kia log samajhtay hain kay woh kahaingay kay hum imaan laye aur Allah un ko imtihan may na daalay ga?

La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wusaha…. Allah kabhi kisi nafs per us ki taqat ziyada bojh nahi daalta…

Walamu Annama Amwalukum wa Auladukum Fitna.. Aur jaan lo kay tumhara maal aur awlaad tumharay liye azmaish hain…..

Mera mind change ho gaya.. Mujhay ab kuch umeed nazar aanay lagi thi.. Yeh sab jo ho raha tha yeh us baray plan ka hissa tha jo Allah nay meri taqdeer may likh diya tha… Allah nay azmaish may daala tha lekin may to gunah karnay wala tha. Usi waqt masjid gaya wuzu kia aur salaat tauba parhi… phir dill ko kuch sukoon hua aur yeh soch liya kay jo bhi ho us ko face karna hay.

Eid say ek din pehlay may wapas Saint John aa gaya. Seedha ghar gaya to darwaizay per police ka ek notice laga hua tha kay un kay office ko contact karoon. May ander gaya to har cheez bikhri pari thi.. Kuch saman ghayab tha ziyada tar waisay hi rakha tha… har cheez may mujhay un ki yaad aati thi… kahan ubaidullah khirki kay samnay khara hota tha… woh parday per Abdullah kay lagai huay chocolate kay dhabbay.. Haleema ki drawings jis may meri aur kulthum ki tasweer banati thi… saifullah kay khilonay… sab kuch dill per baar baar hathoray barsa raha tha. Dil jaisay muthi may aa gaya tha… dimagh may yaadon kay pahiye zor zor ghoomtay thay.. Endless cycle...

Raat bahut mushkil say guzri.. Agli subah police station gaya woh notice lay kar jo darwazay per laga hua tha… Wahan unhon mujhay ek file di kay court aap ko yeh file serve karna chah rahi thi per ghar per koi nahi tha. May nay file li aur ghar aa gaya. Khol kar parha to ek aur imtehan mera intezar kar raha tha. 

Ya rabb… abhi mushkilaat ka yeh pahar aur kitna ooncha tha. 

Kon hay tu - Part 20

 Kuch din ghar farigh raha. Jab ab ek taweel arsay tak roz ghanton kaam karnay kay aadi hon to ghar baithna bahut ajeeb lagta hay. Ab sochnay laga kay agay kia karnay hay is say pehlay kay qarz daar paison ka taqaza karnay lag parain. Abhi koi 3-4 din hi guzray hongay kay Faisal ka phone aaya kehnay laga kay us ko Saskatchewan (jo kay canada ka ek province hay) kay ek chotay say shehr Battleford say ek masjid ki imamat ki job offer aai hay. Faisal bhi chah raha tha kay Mariam kay parents kay ghar say niklay aur apnay pairon per khara ho. Is wajah say us nay yeh job accept kar li thi. Faisal nay bataya hay jis banday say us ki Battleford may baat hui thi woh ek Pakistani tha aur us ki wahan Taxi company hay aur woh pooch raha thay kay koi aitmaad walay driver dhoond raha hay. Faisal may zehn may tha kay agar may kuch arsa us kay paas kaam karna chahoon to kam say kam yeh qarzdaaron say to chutkara hasil ho. Mujhay us ka idea acha laga. Achi baat yeh thi kay wahan may Faisal kay paas reh sakta hoon, overtime kam kar kay jaldi say payments karoon aur phir aagay ka sochoon. 

May nay kulthum say baat ki. Us ko bataya kay abhi itni jaldi may agar yeh job mil jaati hay to may jaldi say in qarzon say jaan chura loonga. Mera target 3,4 maheenay ka tha. Phir yeh kay nai jaga ka experience bhi ho ga… ho sakta hay woh jaga Saint John say ziyada behtar ho.. Bachon kay liye ziyada muwaqay hon. Ek cheez jo kulthum aur may aksar discuss kia kartay thay woh bachon ki home schooling thi. Hum dono yeh samajhtay thay kay hum bachon ko ghar may education ziyada achi day saktay hain. Kiyounkay canada may sirf public education ka system hay to kuch provinces home schooling bhi allow kartay hain. New Brunswick allow nahi karta per Saskatchewan allow karta tha. Mainay kulthum say kaha chalo isi bahanay us ki bhi information lay loonga kay yeh home schooling ka system kaisay kaam karta hay. Kulthum nay koi ziyada opinion na diya lekin oppose bhi nahi kiya. Aisay moqon per jaisay apnay koi fikr angaiz jumlay boltay hain kay khanay ka kia karogay waghaira waghaira.. Aisa waisa bhi kuch nahi bola. Dil kay ek konay may khwashish thi keh kehti nahi akalay nahi jaanay doongi.. Per aisa waisa kuch na hua. 

Woh akhri do din Kulthum aur meray darmiyan bahut qareeb guzray.. Intimately bhi. Mujhay ho raha tha kay yeh aglay 3,4 maheenay us ko dekhay baghair kaisay guzraingay.. Bachon kay bahghair kaisay guzraingay.. Dimagh my plan ban rahay thay.. Roz whatsapp per baat karoonga… sab ko high spirits may rakhoonga to yeh waqt kat hi jayega. Phir jab qarz utar jayega to achay din hi aaingay sab kay liye. 

Akhri raat kulthum aur may bistar may ikathay baitha rahay.. May us ko bas takta jaata tha.. Woh baar baar poochti kia hay..aisa kiyoun dekhtay ho. Mainay kaha aankhon may tumhay basa raha hoon… ab bahut din tumhain dekh nahi paaonga. Kehnay lagi.. Tum to bahut excited ho gay, travel per jo ja rahay ho. Mushkil din to meray hongay jo bachon ko sambhalna ho ga. Mainay kaha… ab larai shroo na kar dena… kal jaana hay. Woh khamosh apnay phone per kuch kati rahi. Subah may tayyar ho kar ready hua. Bachon kay saath kuch dair khelta raha. Phir jaanay ka waqt hua to mera ek employee Talat us ko bulaya. Talat hindko speaking hay aur us nay meray liye 5 saal kaam kia tha. Woh mujhay apni gari may lenay aa gaya. May gaari may baitha to kulthum peechay say aai kay apna passport bhool gaey ho. Haan woh may table per bhool gaya tha. Talat nay mujhay airport per chora aur may Saskatchewan chala gaya. 

Abhi to rastay may tha kay sab ki yaad satanay lagi. Dil ko dharas bandhai kay ab jis mission per nikla hoon woh kar kay hi lotoon ga. Battleford pahuncha to faisal nay already ek kamra meray liye set kia hua tha. Ponchtay hi kulthum ko phone kia kay may pohunch gaya hoon. Us nay kum baat ki aur phone haleema ko pakra diya.. Bus saari baat haleema say hi hui. Kulthum ko mainay phir call ki keh jo paisay may chor kar aaya hoon woh dhayan say kharch karna. Jab mera kaam shroo ho jayega phir masla nahi hay lekin abhi zara careful rehna. Kulthum boli.. Ab zuroorat ki cheezain to leni parengi na..maynay kaha may kab keh raha hoon na lo… lekin dhiyan to rakh sakti ho na kay paisay ek dam khatm na hon. Baghair kuch kahay phone kaat diya. Kahan woh mujh say baat karnay kay liye saara saara din cafe per baithi rehti thi aur kahan ab phone per bhi bardasht nahi hota tha us say.

May aglay din boss say mila to us nay kaha kay kuch documents tayyar karnay paraingay. Sub documents tayyar honay may 2 haftay lag gaye. Abhi tak may kaam shroo nahi kar paya tha kiyoun kay license waghaira may hi itna time lag gaya tha. Jab sab tayyar ho gaya to boss nay kaha kay aap nay pooray shehr ka naqsha to yaad hi nahi kiya… phir us nay mujhay ek naqsha diya jis ko memorize kartay kartay mujhay ek deyrh hafta lag gaya… finally us nay mujhay gari denay ka faisala kia. Mainay kulthum ko batanay kay liye phone kia kay kal say main gaari chalana shroo kar doonga. Kehnay lagi mujhay paisay bhaij do kiyounkh mujhay kuch cheezain leni hain. Mainay kaha abhi to tumharay paas paisay honay chahyain. Kehnay lagi kay Linda kay liye koi gift item lay liya tha. Mujhay ek dum bahut ghussa aaya. May nay kaha tumhay kaha bhi tha kay khayal say kharch karo phir wohi harkat karti ho. Maynay kaha kaam to may kal shroo kar raha hoon to phir paisay bhaijta hoon. 

Udher kulthum ki taraf bhi kuch chal raha tha in dinon may. Mainay jab shop band ki thi to us ka kaafi saara samaan tha.. Shelves waghaira, counters, tables chairs.. Etc. May nay woh cheezain ek storage may rakhwa deen theen jo hamaray ghar kay paas hi thi. Woh samaan may nay Kijiji (jo yahan ka OLX hay) per advertise karta jaata aur har kuch dinon baad kuch na kuch bik jaata. Kulthum ko may batata rehta hay koi call karega… aur us ko falaan falaan cheez dekar paisay lay laina. Usi samaan may ek cheez Refrigerated Prep Table thi. Bara item tha is liye ziyada log us may interested nahi thay. Phir ek banday nay mujhay call ki kay woh khareedna chahta hay. May nay time set kar liya. Kulthum ko call ki aur bataya kay banda aaiga. Us say paisay lay lay aur table day day. Mainay yeh bhi kaha kay agar akalay wahan jaanay may comfortable na ho to Uncle Saeed ko call kar lena woh bhi aa jayega kiyounkeh time raat kay 8 bajay ka tha. Donon shehron kay darmiyan time difference bhi 3 ghantay ka tha. 

Yaani jab meri shift 5 bajay khatam hoti, to us waqt Saint John may 8 bajtay. Jaisay hi mainay Kulthum ko phone kia ring baj rahi thi aur phone kisi nay na uthaya. Maynay kaha customer kay saath busy hogi thori dayr may karta hoon. 15 min baad dobara phone kia to phone phir na uthaya. Mujhay thori preshani ho rahi thi. Us ko text bhaija lekin koi jawab na tha. Phir to may panick kar gaya. Pata nahi kia hua tha woh khairiat say to hay? Kaheen us banday nay koi harkat na kar di ho? Bachon ki bhi saath lay kar gaee thi? Tarah tarah kay khayalaat dil may aa rahay thay… phir may nay kaha oh shayad ubaidullah ko nehla rahi ho gi. Text kiya…. Banda samaan lenay aaya tha? Koi response nahi. Uncle Saeed ko phone kia,... kulthum nay call ki thi… bola nahi… kaha khairiat hay may kuch kar sakta hoon… mainay kaha main phone wapas karta hoon. Mujh say ab sabr bilkul nahi ho raha tha… Saint John Police ko call ki… un ko batai saari baat… unhon nay kaha hum ek officer ghar bhaijtay hain check karnay kay liye… us nay apna record check kar kay bataya hamain tumhari biwi kay naam per koi emergency waghaira ki call bhi nahi aai hay. May nay phone rakha.. Phir Uncle Saeed ko call ki… kaha forun meray ghar jaye aur check karay kia ho raha hay. Woh forun ghar poncha… kehnay laga kay Mohammad yahan to lagta hay koi nahi hay… kehnay laga sab lights bhi band hain… main darwaza khatkhataon… mainay kaha nahi… shayad ubaidullah ko sul rahi ho gi. Woh uth gaya to nahi soye ga. Uncle Saeed ko wapas karwa diya… may saath saath kulthum ko text bhi kar raha tha lekin koi jawab nahi aa raha tha. Thori dayr baad police officer ka phone aaya kay ghar ki ghantiyan kai dafa bajai hain per koi response nahi hay. Poocha kay is there anyway else we can help? May nay keh diya nahi… shayad kisi friend kay paas na gaee ho.

May ab buri tarah preshan tha… kahan gaee kulthum…. Jawab kiyoun nahi deti. Shayad phone ki battery khatam ho gayee ho… itni irresponsible to pehlay kabhi nahi hui. Saari raat us ko message or phone kartay guzar gayee koi jawab na aaya. 

Gul bhi preshan, Faisal aur Abu bhi preshan. Kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha kia karoon. May forun wapas to ja bhi nahi sakta tha. Kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha.. Subah job ka doosra din tha… jaon na jaoon … ghar jaon.. Kia karoon. 

Forun utha.. Namaz haajat parhi...Allah say manga kay sab khairiat ho… phir tayyar ho kar kaam per gaya. Abhi bhi har kuch minton baad us ko message karta phone karta per koi nahi utha raha tha.. Ya Rabb yeh kaisi azmaish hay… kahan chali gayee hay yeh… may nay kaha call karnay do isay aaj is ko theek karoonga… phir kaha… nahi pehlay us ki baat poori tarah sun lena.. Ho sakta hay koi masla ho gaya ho… ek dum ghussay na ho jana…. Per yeh jawab kiyoun nahi day rahi thi. 

Subah kay ab taqreeban 6 baj chukay thay…. Achanak meray phone ki ghanti baji. Usi ki taraf say tha…. Phone uthaya… kulthum.. Kahan ho tum… kal raat say dhoond raha hoon? Jawab kiyoun nahi diya? Bachay kaisay hain? Aagay say boli… may nay jaan kar jawab nahi diya tha.. May nay kaha yeh kia badtameezi hay…. Mujhay sata kar kia milta hay tumhay… meri sab say baat karao… kehnay lagi woh abhi baat nahi kar saktay… mainay kaha kiyoun nahi kar saktay… kehnay lagi doosray kamray may hain. May nay kaha bulao haleema ko. Kehnay lagi… nahi mujhay baat karni hay… may nay kaha… pehlay batao meray phone ka jawab kiyoun nahi diya? Sharm nahi aati hay tumhain itna preshan kia… police ko call karta raha hospital… uncle saeed tak dekhnay aaya.. Woh keh raha tha kay ghar band hay aur lights off hain….kia kar rahi thi tum? Boli… May nay tumhara ghar chor diya hay..is liye wahan koi nahi tha… chor diya? Chor diya matlab? Kaisay chor diya? Yeh kia bakwas kar rahi ho? Kahan ho tum abhi? Boli… abhi women shelter may hoon… mainay kaha yeh kia drama machaya hua hay tum nay. Bachon ko lo aur wapis jao ghar isi waqt. Boli… nahi ab may wapas nahi jaongi.. Keh kar call kaat di… 

Kon hay tu - Part 19

 Taqreeban 5,6 maheeny guzray hongay kay meray ek dost ka mujhay phone aaya. Un ka naam Sohail Khan tha. Sohail bhai woh pehlay pakistani thay jin say meri Canada may mulaqat hui thi. University kay pehlay din say lay kar aaj tak hamara aapas may rishta bilkul bhaiyon jaisa hay. Woh mujh say umar may baray hain per may apnay aap ko un say bahut close samajhta hoon. Kahani kay shroo may bataya hay kay ek dafa jab may apnay final year kay project may masroof tha to mainay kulthum say raabita munqata kia tha taakay may kaam per dhiyan day sakoon. Tab Kulthum nay Sohail bhai ko phone kia tha meray baaray may poochnay kay liye. Sohail bhai nay samjhaya kay us ka final year chal raha hay.. Kisi kaam may masroof ho gaya ho ga. Jab baat hogi to may us ko bata doonga kay tumhara phone aaya tha. Kulthum nay un ko bazidd ho kar kaha kay woh abhi phone karain. Mera to phone hi band tha so baat kaisay hoti Sohail bhai say. Baad may Sohail bhai nay mujhsay yeh baat discuss ki. Un kay mutabiq yeh achi traits nahi hain kay woh tumhain kaam karnay ki space nahi day rahi. Itna obsessive hona achi cheez nahi hay. Sohail bhai nay to mujhay usi din kaha kay may ghalti karnay ja raha hoon. May nay un ki baat suni ansuni kar di thi.

Ab jab Sohail bhai ka phone aaya to kehnay lagay may New Brunswick aa raha hoon. 2 haftay rahoonga… kaheen outing ka plan plan banao. Begum bachon ko bhi saath lay lena. Kisi long trip per chaltay hain, tum log bhi fresh ho jaogay. Mujh say na nahi hui. Haami bhar li. Lekin reh reh kar mujhay Faisal ka trip yaad aa raha tha. Woh to bechara bhai ko milnay aaya to us ko bhi nahi bakhsha tha. Sohail bhai kay agay sharmindagi ho gaee to kaisay face karoonga. Sohail bhai kay bahut ihsaan hain mujh per. Unhon may university say lay kar aaj tak meri bahut help ki hay. Woh bhi pindi kay rehnay walay hain aur un ki ammi aur behn ki meri ammi say kai dafa mulaqat hui thi. Is liye bhi main un kay bahut qareeb hoon. 

Kulthum ko bataya to us ka pehla jawab tha. Mujhay to kaheen nahi lay kar gaey is tarah trip per.. Dost nay kaha hay to forun tayyar ho gaey ho. Bus biwi ki to yahi value hay tumharay samnay. Mujhay pata tha woh kabhi is cheez ko poisitively nahi lay gi. Pata nahi sab kuch khushi khushi kiyoun nahi accept karti thi woh. Khair muamla sirf trip ka hi to nahi tha… Sohail bhai ko ghar per thehrana bhi tha… ab yeh sab kuch Kulthum ki cooperation kay baghair kaisay mumkin tha. Kulthum ko sari baat batai… kuch na boli… lekin chehray per nagawari bilkul ayyan thi. 

Sohail bhai aai to un ko ghar per hi thehraya. Un ko ashsas tha kay dukan ka kaam hay aur dono hi dukan per kaam kartay hain to unhon nay kaha yar khana waghaira tumharay restaurant per hi khaingay. Hum nay ek week ki outing ka program banaya. Yeh meray liye itna asaan nahi tha kiyounkay workers kay ooper shop ek hafta chor kar jaana parna tha. Khair hum log ek haftay drive kar kay hi Cape Breton, jo kay Canada mainland ka eastern coast hay, wahan gaey. Outing to achi thi, mahol bhi badla, scenery bhi bahut achi thi.. Lekin mujhay pata tha is sab may kulthum khush nahi thi… woh baar baar mujhay yaad dilati kay agar us nay yahan akalay aanay kay liye kaha hota to may us ko kabhi na lata.. Yani Sohail bhai ki value meri nazar may us say ziyada hay. Us trip per may nay us kay her argument ko ignore kiya. May kisi naye dramay ka hissa nahi banNa chahta tha. Khayriat say mehman wapis chalay jain… bus usi ka intezar kar raha tha. Kia may pehlay Kulthum ko akaylay ghumanay nahi lay gaya tha….kahan kahan nahi lay gaya.. Lekin us ko bhi to koi moqa chahye..khair Allah Allah kar kay Sohail bhai achi yaadain liye wapas chalay gaye. 

Us summer may hamaray doosray day trips bhi lagay kai jaghon per. Un sab may may kulthum aur bachay hi thay lekin woh abhi Haleema ko Cape Breton ka taana deti hay kay may us ko wahan apnay dost kay kehnay per lay ker gaya warna mera koi dil nahi tha Kulthum ko wahan lejanay ka. 

Business ab kaafi slow hota ja raha tha. Overall hi sab business ka yahi haal tha. Sab say bara masla tab hua jab Saudi govt nay Canadian govt kay saath student exchange ka contract cancel kar diya aur apnay sab students wapas bula liye. Is kay asar meray business per bhi bahut hua. Mujhay apnay employees kam karnay paray. Kulthum aur meray hours barh gaye kiyounkay doosron ko to tankha deni parhti hay aur khud hum tankha apnay business say nahi letay thay. Kai din to humain order kay darmiyaan ek ek ghantay ka bhi wait karna par jata tha. May to cash per hi khara hota tha aur sochta rehta tha kay business ko kaisay improve kia jaye. Kulthum back office may hoti. Meray dimagh may kia chal raha hay… us say share to karna chahta tha per arguments ki himmat nahi thi so khud hi us ko solve karnay ki koshish karta. Meat waghaira kay liye ab bhi farm per jaata tha zibah karnay kay liye.

Phir mujhay CRA say ek phone aaya jo yahan ki FBR hay. Us officer nay mujhay kaha kay aap kay account ka audit kia hay aur aap hamain 18000 dollars owe kartay hain. Main nay kaha yeh kaisay ho sakta hay? Us nay kaha may aapko audit report bhaij raha hoon. Us nay mujhay ek haftay ki muhlat do payment karnay ki. Bahut discuss kia keh yeh possible nahi hay meray liye… bahut bari raqm hay. Kehnay laga pehlay documents receive kar lo… go through them and then call me. Documents mail may aai to may lay kar forum accountant ki taraf chala gaya. Accountant say poocha kay yeh kaya hay. Us nay sab dekha to kaha kay un ko ghalti lagi hay. Us nay CRA ko call ki aur hamari side ki story batai. Unhon nay kaha kay hamain aap apnay accounts ki detail jo aap keh rahay hain woh bhaijain. Aap is decision ki appeal may ja saktay hain. Accountant nay kaha keh appeal to hum karaingay lekin yeh ek haftay wali muhlat to thori relax karain. CRA officer nay kaha kay woh meray ikhtiar may nahi hay.. Agar aap appeal submit kar dain, then I can push it to my boss and hopefully we can sort it out. Yeh may kis museebat may phans gaya tha. Accountant nay mujhay kaha kay woh us ki appeal ka process start karta hay aur in the meantime I should be prepared for anything because if we dont pay that money and our appeal is not in before the deadline, then they can freeze the business bank account. That will be a problem for your business. Saath tasalli bhi di kay eventually yeh sort out to ho jayega lekin waqti taur per problem ho sakti hay. 

Phir wohi hua.. Accountant to documents tayyar kartay kartay haftay say ziyada ka time lagg gaya. CRA nay business kay bank accounts per hold laga diya. Hold ka matlb tha koi deposit nahi kar sakta tha… kisi ki payments nahi kar sakta tha. Bahut hi stressful time tha. Kulthum yeh sab dekh rahi thi… us ko bataya bhi kay kia hua hay… lekin ab bhi moqa bay moqa mujh say ulajhti rehti thi. Raat ko jab sab so jaatay to may dair tak baitha us bank walay maslay ki guthi suljhata rehta. Yeh woh waqt tha kay koi mujh say poochta kay kaisay masla hal ho ga… koi salaah karta … koi raai deta .. kiyounkeh mera apna dimagh to mauf ho chukka tha. I needed somebody to brainstorm for me. Phir may Faisal ko phone karta… us kay opinion layta shayad us kay paas koi solution ho.  Afsos kay sab log mujhay us museebat say nikalnay kay liye apnay apnay ghang say mashwaray detay lekin meri apni biwi nay ek baar nahi poocha kay kiyoun raat ko neend nahi aati, koi preshani hay..kiyoun preshan ho. Itna akayla to mainay zindagi may kabhi mehsoos nahi kia tha. Yeh masla koi ek maheenay tak raha jis may accountant nay CRA kay saath correspondence kar kay problem solve karwa diya. Maheenay baad bank accounts per say hold uth gaya. Lekin us maheenay may jo cheez mujhay sab say ziyada samajh aai woh yeh thi kay may ab bhi akayla hi hoon aur mujhay jo karna hay woh khud hi karna hay. Jis kay liye kar raha hoon us ko kuch ziyada parwah nahi hay. 

Us waqiah kay baad say meray saaray faislay pragmatic thay. Ab may yeh na sochta kay kulthum kia sochay gi, kia woh agree karay gi ya nahi. Jo sahih samajh aata tha… jo qareebi logon say mashwara karta tha bus faisala bhi usi tarah kar deta tha. Kulthum nay bhi kabhi nahi poocha kay may nay aisa kiyoun kia ya waisa kiyoun kia. Shayad mian biwi kay is rishtay may yeh tanazalli ki akhri hadain theen. May is ko sanwarna chahta tha lekin phir us say arguments karnay kay liye bahut energy chahye thi. Business ka hi itna stress tha kay yeh discussions karnay ki himmat nahi thi. Dil may yeh soch kar may khamosh rehta kay halaat behtri ki taraf aaingay aur jab sab theek ho jayega to yeh din shayad hum kabhi yaad na karein gay. 

Itni tareeki may Allah nay phir ek khushkhabri di. Kulthum phir pregnant thi. Saifullah aur Abdullah may taqreeban 2 saal ka farq tha aur abdullah aur nai mehman may 1 saal. May chahta tha meray 2 betay aur 2 betiyan hon. Is liye family complete karna chahta tha. Bahut dil tha kay jab yeh sab thoray thoray baray hongay to bahut time in kay saath guzaroonga. Is liye aakhri teen bachon may hum nay waqfa kum rakha tha. December kay akhir may Allah nay hamain ek aur beta diya. Us ka naam mainay Ubaidullah rakha - yaani chota Abdullah. Sab preshaniyon may Ubaidullah kay aanay kay baad bahut ronaq barh gayee. Sab nai baby kay saath khel kar bahut khush hotay. Bhaiyon may jealousy bilkul nahi thi. Behn ko to mashallah khushi ki intehaa thi. Teen teen bhai… saara din un kay sath khelti , un say batain karti. 

Ubaidullah kay anay kay baad Kulthum ki saari masroofiat bachon kay saath ho gayeen. Mainay us ko ghar per hi rehnay kay liye kaha. Kitchen to waisay hi slow chal raha tha. Grocery side bhi slow hi thi. Mainay kaha may sab handle kar loonga. Saara din jab kitchen aur shop dono handle kar kay ghar jaata to us waqt jism may bilkul jaan na hoti. Jaisay hi ghar ghusta saaray bachay bhaag kay aatay aur meray saath lipat jaatay. Phir khoob un kay saath khelta. Woh meri saari thakan utaar detay.  Phir may jaldi so jata kiyounkeh subah phir jaldi jaana hota tha. 

Ghar per ab bhi Linda ka aana jaana tha. Woh ab bhi bachon kay saath activities karti thi aur monthly reports bana kar deti thi. Mainay bhi us kay baaray may kuch nahi kaha chalo isi bahanay kulthum ka bhi dil laga hua hay. Wanda ab bhi haleema ko school lay kar jati aur wapas lati. I think this new routine was working better. Kulthum ko shayad is may ziyada araam mil raha tha. 

Phir mujhay Faisal ka ek din phone aaya kay us ko Mufti ki sanad mil gayee hay aur dastaarbandi ho gayee hay. Us ka irada wapas canada aanay ka tha. Woh aur mariam Canada wapas aai to dono hamain milnay aai. Is dafa un ko may nay wahan ek room rent kar diya. Roz faisal shop per meray saath baithta aur mujhay apnay ideas deta kay kia kiya jaye business ko behtar karnay kay liye. Taqreeban 4 maheenay hum nay ikathay kaam kiya lekin business may koi khatir khaah izafa na hua. Shehr may aur baray baray supermarkets khul chukay thay aur un say muqabla karna asaan nahi tha. Phir mainay faisal ko kaha kay business ka accounts daikh kar decision letay hain kay is ko continue karnay ka faida hay ya nahi. Aakhir may hum isi nateejay per ponchay kay is business ko ab band kar dena chahye. Achanak band karnay ka matlab tha kay woh suppliers jo hamain samaan credit per detay thay unkay paisay wapas karnay paraingay jo kay taqreeban 22000 kay qareeb thay. Yahi ek wajah thi jo business ko achanak band karnay say mujhay rok rahi thi. Yeh baat main kulthum ko bhi batana chahta tha lekin us ko to shayad ab koi interest nahi tha. Bahut socha kia karoon phir yeh idea aaya keh inventory baich kar jitna payoff kar saka kardoonga aur baqiyon say muhlat loonga aur aahista aahista lota doonga. Mujhay kisi ka paisa rakhna bilkul manzoor na tha. 

Faisal aur mariam Montreal chalay gaey thay aur ab mujhay yeh decision lena tha kay business ka kia karna hay. Akhirkaar kulthum ko bhi bataya kay yeh decision liya hay. Kulthum nay bas itna kaha kay shop phir band kar rahay ho.. Maynay kaha haan aur koi raasta nazar nahi aata. Kehnay lagi… acha. 8 saal shop chalanay kay baad us business ko khairbaad keh diya. Bahut yadain wabasta theek us jaga say…. Achi bhi aur buri bhi. Haleema to bari hi waha hui thi. Ab bhi kai dafa zikr aa jata hay jab baat karti hay shop kay baray main. Sachi baat to yeh hay woh saara project mujhay tab to acha lagta tha jab kulthum aur mainay ikathay kaam karnay ka socha tha lekin jis tarah kulthum ka interest khatm hua, mera bhi dil uchat sa ho gaya tha. Akhri din jab shop per taala lagaya to kulthum ko kaha dekh lo phir yeh jaga yaad aayegi… us nay agay say kuch nahi kaha aur may nay darwaza lock kar diya. 

Kon hay tu - Part 18

Phir kulthum kay citizenship exam ki date aa gayee. Us test kay liye hamain Canada ka government system kay baaray may ratta lagana parta hay. Us ko to yaad hi nahi hota tha. Poora hafta us ko page by page yaad karwaya...woh baar baar bhool jaati thi. Finally us nay test diya aur clear kia. Phir us ki oath ceremony hui aur woh citizen ban gayee. 

Passport issue honay Kulthum aur Haleema indonesia chalay gaye… aur wahan per jab bhi un say baat hoti thi to mujhay mehsoos hota tha keh yeh sahi decision tha.. Woh kafi relaxed lagti thi phone per aur haleema ko to royal proctocol milta tha wahan. Ek maheena indonesia may rehnay kay baad woh wapas aa gayee. Phir us nay ziyada tar waqt ghar may hi guzara.. Kabhi kabhar dukan per aa jati thi taakay kitchen ki khabar lay sakay. 

Jab delivery ka time aaya to may Kulthum kay saath tha. Us per duain parh parh kar phoonta raha. Ab woh larai karnay ki bhi himmat nahi thi kay naam kia ho ga. Main nay soch rakha tha kay kuch bhi ho jaye phir nahi laroonga. Delivery ki raat may phir say us kay saath labour room may tha. Haleema hamari ek employee Amma Taghreed kay ghar thi. Taghreed haleema say bahut piyar karti thi. Agar ammi zinda hoti to shayad usi ki umar ki hoteen. 

Yeh delivery Haleema ki dafa ki tarah mushkil nahi thi. Lekin phir bhi raat kay pichlay pehr hi delivery hui. Is dafa mera shehzada Saifullah duniya may aaya. Kulthum ko haath may pakraya to us nay kaha Saifullah? May nay kaha haan. Saifullah kay kaan may azaan di… tehneeq ki… aur us kay kaan may kaha… Tumhara naam Saifullah hay… Allah ki talwar banNa hay tujhay… Saifullah bahut healthy baby tha… aur Kulthum bhi aglay hi din wapas ghar aa gaee thi. Ab woh mukammal taur per ghar per thi jab tak Saifullah thora bara na ho jata. Roz kulthum kitchen kay staff say baat karti thi. Jo instructions deni hoteen woh deti thi. 

Ab may bhi kitchen kay staff ki help karta kabhi kabhar taakay khanay kay orders pooray ho sakain. Koi 2-3 maheenay baad hamaray 2 employees chor kar chalay gaye. Kulthum ko majbooran wapas aana parah.  Phir say hamari routine pehlay jaisi ho gayee. Sach baat to yeh hay kay agar may khud kitchen handle kar sakta to may kabhi bhi kulthum ko wahan kaam na karnay deta. Kulthum nay kitchen ka saara nizaam set kia tha is liye us say behtar aur koi nahi jaanta tha kay us ko kaisay chalana hay. Ek masla yeh bhi tha kay kulthum mujhay wahan koi chef rakhnay nahi deti thi.

Saifullah kay aanay kay baad meri zindagi phir rangeen ho gayee thi.. Haleema ko bhai mil gaya tha aur woh us ka bahut khayal rakhti thi. Hum ghar say bhi shift ho kar aik apartment may aa gaye thay jo dukan say 2 min hi door tha. Paidal bhi aaya jaaya ja sakta tha. Kulthum aur main phir long hours karnay lagay...woh saath saath bachon ka bhi khayal karti.. Kaam bhi karti. Raat ko woh mujhay kehti kay bachon ko ghar lay jao, may dukan band kar kay aa jaongi. Kuch arsa phir aisay chalta raha. May subah jaldi aa jata tha aur yeh log dopehr may dukan per aatay thay. 

Mujhay aisay laga kay Saifullah kay aanay kay baad Kulthum thori calmed down ho gaee hay aur us nay cheekhna chilana bhi kam kar diya hay. Jab kabhi waisa hota to may to bus chup kar jaata taakay baat na barhay. Mujhay laga kay ab hamain family per tawajjuh deni hay. Main chahta tha meray 2 betay aur 2 betiyan hon. Saifullah kay paida honay kay taqreeban 2 saal baad hamain phir khabar mili kay kulthum pregnant hay. May is per bahut khush tha. May nay mannat maani kay ab jo baby aaiga us ka aqeeqa restaurant may karoonga… aur saari community ko bulaonga. Saifullah kay aqeeqay per bhi mainay apnay haath say 2 dumbay zibah kiye thay jis ka gosht hum nay community may baant diya tha… lekin is dafa to gosht paka kar sab ko invite karoonga.

Kulthum nay poocha agar beti hui to? Maynay kaha us ka naam khadeeja… jaisa tum nay kaha.. Us nay kaha agar beta hua to? Mayna kaha phir us ka naam Abdullah. Jaisay jaisay delivery kay din qareeb aa rahay thay kulthum ka mood badalta ja raha tha… I think koi hormonal changes thay shayad kabhi pregnancies may aisay ho jaata hay. 

Delivery say taqreeban ek maheena pehlay, ek raat ko achanak kulthum kay pait may dard hua. Usay laga jaisay koi fluid secrete hua hay. Hum ghabra gaey. May usi waqt us ko hospital lay kar gaya. Haleema aur Saifullah ko Amma Taghreed kay paas chor diya. Hospital ponchay to unhon nay ultra sound kia aur kaha kay placenta may kuch complications hain. Mainay poocha kaisi complications? Doctor nay kaha placenta say liquid secrete ho raha hay aur placenta dry ho raha hay. We need to watch this on regular basis and anytime we will feel that its getting dangerous for the baby, we will induce the delivery. 

Doctors nay kaha keh Kulthum ko hospital may dakhil karwana paray ga aur tab tak wahan rakhain gay jab tak delivery na ho jaye. Woh har roz us ka ultrasound karaingay. Meray liye ab bahut bara imtehan tha. Haleema aur Saifullah meray saath ghar may thay… roz un ki take care karna… phir dono ko subah apnay saath shop per lay jata. Saara din shop per kaam karta. Shaam ko dono ko Amma Taghreed kay ghar chor kar hospital chala jaata aur kulthum kay saath 2-3 ghantay guzarta. Agar kisi din us ka koi test waghaira karana hota ya ultra sound hota to us kay liye bhi jaata kiyounkay aur to koi tha na nahi us ki take care karnay kay liye. Woh ek maheena bahut mushkil tha lekin jaisay Allah kehta hay kay har mushkil kay baad asaani hay… to hum bhi asaani kay intezar may baithay thay. Phir woh din aa gaya jab ek aur shehzaday nay hamaray ghar may paon jamanay thay. Is delivery say mujhay bahut darr lag raha tha kiyounkay yeh induced thi per Allah nay karam kia aur Abdullah is duniya may aa gaya. 

Abdullah--- mera sab say chaheeta… jis nay hamain is duniya may aanay tak sooli per latkai rakha..sab behn bhaiyon may rang ka sanwla lekin dil ka mulaim… bahut hi narm dil ka. Agar ikhlas ki koi shakl ho to woh Abdullah hay. Alhamdulillah Kulthum bhi delivery kay baad jald recover kar gaee. Ab hum ghar may 4 janay ho gaey thay… mard honay kay naatay mujhay bahut proud feel hota tha kay hamari family barh rahi hay. 

Kulthum phir kuch maheenon tak ghar may thi taakay Abdullah ki take care kar sakay..Saifullah bhi chota tha. Haleema nay school jana shroo kar diya tha to ab saara din woh school may hoti thi. Ek aurat jo taxi chalati thi woh Haleema ko school lati aur lejati thi. Us ka naam Wanda tha. Phir kuch maheenon baad Kulthum nay kitchen dobara sambhal liya. Jab Kulthum kitchen may hoti, to shop per mera ek employee Uncle Saeed bachon say saara din khelta tha aur busy rakhta tha. Jab bhi bachon ki feed ka time hota Kulthum unko back office may lay jati.

Kulthum ab bhi chirchiri thi… jawab deti thi… lekin mujhay ab yeh sab normal lagta tha. May koshish karta us say na hi uljhoon. Apnay dil ki baat ab main us tarah khul kar nahi kar sakta tha jaisay shroo shroo may karta tha. Woh apna dil bachon say behlaati aur may bhi. Hamaray beech ki communication itni achi nahi thi. Ab bhi kabhi kabhar us ka mood kharab hota to woh cheekh parti per may nay qasam khai thi kabhi react nahi karoonga. 

Kon hay tu - Part 17

 Taqreeban ek saal hum nay woh choti si online shop chalai. Ab hamaray bahut saaray regular customers ban gaey thay. Unhi dinon bazar say drive kartay waqt meri ek dukan per nazar pari jo karaye kay liye khali thi. Us dukan may ek kitchen bhi tha aur aik dining area bhi tha. Us raat may ideas banata raha kay kisi tarah agar yeh dukan mil jaati hay to may grocery store aur restaurant dono ek hi jaga khol sakta hoon. Khana pakana meray bass ki baat nahi thi lekin agar kulthum haami bharti to yeh ho sakta tha. Haalat to yeh thay kay yeh sab may Kulthum aur Haleema kay liye hi to kar raha tha lekin kisi bhi plan ki baat kartay bhi mujhay 10 baar sochna parhta tha kiyounkeh kia reaction aai kia pata. 

Kulthum say baat ki, woh hesitant thi. Us ko restaurant ka thora experience tha kiyounkeh us ki Ammi ek chota sa kitchen chalati thi jab Kulthum choti si thi. Kuch din baad may nay phir poocha.. Samjhaya keh agar hum dukan may jaatay hain to hamain exposure ziada milay ga. Ghar ki choti dukan say to hum sirf online kay orders tayyar kar saktay hain. Dukan apni ho gi to har tarah ki traffic ho gi. Bahar haal behad zidd karnay kay baad woh razi ho gaee. 

Hum nay dukan ka contract sign kia aur dukan ko set karna shroo kia. Dukan ko apnay mutabiq set karnay may taqreeban 3 haftay lag gaey. Restaurant kay liye staff hire karna tha. Kulthum nay shart rakhi kay sirf aurtain hi kitchen may kaam kareingi. Us waqt us nay haami bhari yahi meray liye bohut tha… may nay kaha kitchen is your territory, do what you have to. Us nay 3 aurton ko hire kiya. Mera ek aur employee tha jo cash per tha. Overall jaisa mainay socha tha us jaisa hi kuch honay ja raha tha. Pehlay hum nay grocery ka kaam shroo kia aur us kay taqreeban 2 maheenay baad restaurant ka. Restaurant ka kaam thora mushkil tha kiyounke health department ki bahut requirements theen. Kulthum ko food safety ka ek course bhi karna para. Jis din hamara restaurant ka pehla din tha… logon ki line door tak lagi khari thi. In may ziyada tar Saudi say aai students thay jin ko sirf is baat ki khushi thi kay koi restaurant khula hay jo Halal khana baich raha hay. Kulthum nay bahut mehnat say khana banaya tha jo 3-4 ghanton may hi khatm ho gaya. Woh din sab kay liye bahut stressful tha kiyounkeh hamain demand ka andaza nahi tha. Raat 12 bajay jab farigh huay to sab thak kar zameen per baithay thay. Haleema saara din dukan may khelti phirti thi...har aanay walay customer ko welcome karti thi. Yeh bhi ek wajah hay kay community ka har banda Haleema ko jaanta hay kiyounkeh unhon nay us ko 2.5 saal ki umar say dekha hay. 

Shru kay 4,5 maheenay bahut hi ziada busy thay aur hamari sale bahut achi hui. Sale achi hui to mujhay bhi ehsaas tha kay is paisay ko kaisay achay say reinvest karna hay. Kulthum ka dil tha naya iphone lena hay. May nay kaha thora sabr kar lo woh bhi aa jayega pehlay dukan ki inventory to restock kar loon. Khair iphone nay aana tha woh aa kar raha. May nay socha chalo woh apna itna time kitchen may bhi to laga rahi hay agar ek acha tuhfa maang liya to koi bara issue nahi hay. 

Us saal qareebi shehron may bhi hamara naam pohunch chuka tha aur wahan say bhi order aanay lag gaye. Sab say busy time Ramadan may gaya jab logon ki iftari kay baray baray order aatay thay. Is saaray kaam ka sab say manfi pehlu yeh tha kay hum subah 7 bajay kaam kartay aur khatm kartay kartay raat ka 1 baj jaata. Ab is may family time to tha hi nahi. Haleema har waqt dukan may rehti. Saaray employees us ka khayal rakhtay. Kulthum us ko bhi khilati, kitchen bhi handle karti. May grocery side handle karta. Halal meat kay liye ab may haftay may do dafa farm per jata. Us kay ilawa har waqt ki ordering aur stocking.. Kaam aisa tha kay khatm honay ka naam na leta. Jab din khatm hota to bus dil karta ghar jaa kar so jaoon kiyoukeh subah phir 7 bajay wohi routine. 

Kuch arsay baad yeh routine hamain thakaanay lagi. Kulthum bhi thaki thaki rehnay lagi, mera haal bhi kuch acha nahi tha. Haftay kay 7 din kaam karna ab mushkil hota ja raha tha. Ab ghar ka waqi may bura haal hota ja raha tha kiyounkeh kisi kay paas time nahi tha ghar per dhiyan deta. Ab hamari laraiyan bhi business say related ho gayee theen.. Woh kisi kay order kay hawalay say hi hoti. Ya agar kitchen walay koi kaam sahi na kartay to may upset ho jata. May agar generally bhi kitchen kay workers ko kuch kehta to Kulthum mujh say larr parti. Ek raat jab hum sab kuch close kar kay baithay thay kulthum nay koi baat chayr di. May bahut thak chuka tha. May nay kaha kay hum yeh subah na baat karein abhi mujh say socha nahi ja raha. Kehnay lagi kay subah nahi abhi solve karo.. Subah tum busy ho jaogay. Mainay kaha acha chalo batao kia baat hay. Us nay baat batani shroo ki to yaqeen karo may baat suntay suntay so gaya. Khuda jaanta hay yeh may nay jaan kar nahi kia tha. May waqi itna thaka hua tha. Kulthum ko bahut ghussa tha is per aur mujhay cheekh kar utha diya. Mujhay ghussa to bahut aaya per chup raha. 

Kuch dinon baad service kay doran koi order ghalat bana diya kitchen walon nay. May kitchen may gaya to kulthum khari thi.. Us ko bataya order ghalat hay.. Kehnay lagi dobara banwati hoon. Us nay koi baat ki to may nay kaha abhi ruko pehlay kuch customers kam ho jain to aata hoon. Boli.. kay mujhay abhi jawab chahye… mainay kaha baat karnay ka bhi koi tareeqa hota hay… aisay bologi to koi jawab nahi milay ga. Woh aahista aahista awaz oonchi karti ja rahi thi.. May nay haath say ishara kia kay chup karo..employees hain kicthen may.. Bahar customers hain… us nay kaha… i dont care.. Let them listen to who you really are...mujh say bardasht na hua aur us ko mainay ek thappar laga diya. Woh yeh expect nahi kar rahi thi. Aur kisi nay nahi dekha tha. May forun kitchen say bahar nikal aaya aur cash per customers ko handle karnay lag gaya. Woh peechay ro to rahi thi per niqab pehnti thi to kisi ko ziyada notice na hua. Jab customers kam huay to may apnay back office (jo shop kay pichlay hissay may banaya hua tha) wahan chala gaya. Yeh mainay kia kar diya tha… Har us amal jis ki dil may nafi thi aaj may nay kia … ghussa, sakht alfaz aur ab to haath bhi utha chuka tha… Bahut nidamat ho rahi thi,... phir khud ko hi samjhata… chup nahi kar sakti thi woh … thori dayr ko.. Chup kar jaati…. Yeh aghaz tha us kaalay daur ka jis ki wajah say may shayad aaj is haal may hoon. Us ki agar ghalti thi to meri shayad bari ghalti thi. Zaban say nikla lafz aur kaman say nikla teer wapas nahi ho saktay…. Dil ko pata tha yeh… samajhta tha yeh sab lekin phir bhi jab waqt aaya to shaitan nay ghalba pa liya. Kiyoun bardasht nahi kia.. Har dafa kar jaata tha ab bhi kar jaata. May baar baar soch raha tha kay kia socha ho ga us nay… hazaroon meel door la kar is liye yahan rakha tha kay us ko thappar maroon. Phir us kay paas gaya, aur us ko kamray may laya. Sorry kia aur kaha kay kulthum jab kabhi may tumhain khamosh honay kay liye kahoon … jab tum dekho may ghussay may hoon… mujhay kuch lamhon kay liye akayla chor diya karo,.... Agay say jawab na detay raha karo… lekin is sab kay bawajood mainay sahi nahi kiya. Kulthum nay kuch nahi kaha. Shayad muaf bhi nahi kia lekin us kay ansoo bus girtay jaatay. Woh raat mujh per bahut bhari guzri. Sochtay sochtay saari raat guzar di. Kia ab woh mujhay kabhi bhi muaf karay gi. 

Kuch dinon baad phir kuch normal sa honay laga aur hum phir dukan kay kamon may busy honay lagay. May aksar sochta kay kia woh bhool gayee hai.. May us ko yaad nahi karana chahta tha. Lekin kaafi arsay tak waisa jhagrah hamaray darmiyan na hua. Ab jab bhi koi argument hota may jaga chor kar chala jaata. Mujhse yeh dobara na jheelna paiga. 

English may kehtay hain na…She knew how to press the right buttons..matlab us ko agar apna maqsad chahye hota to us ko pata tha us ka raasta kia hoga… Ghar per ek dafa hamara phir jhagra hua. Mujhay yaad nahi exact wajah kia thi but shop ko lay kar hi kuch tha… hamari to zindagi ab bus shop hi thi…. Wohi us ki purani harkat… may khana shroo karnay laga aur us nay bolna shroo kia.. May nay kaha khana to kha lenay do, hum yeh baat baad may bhi discuss kar saktay hain. Kehnay lagi theek hay may kamray may ja rahi hoon, khud hi kha lo. May nay kaha 2 min saath baith jaogi to kuch ho nahi jayega. Kehnay lagi mujhay aur bhi bahut kaam hain. Mujhay us ka meri taraf yeh rawayya acha nahi lagta tha… may samajhta tha keh shohar honay kay naatay i deserved some respect. Mujhay ghussa aa gaya kay sirf ek waqt ka khana detay maut aati hay..us ko kaha kay glass may pani daal do (yeh may khud bhi daal sakta tha lekin us waqt bus may egoistic ho gaya tha keh kisi tarah to yeh meray saath baithay). Us nay glass may pani daala aur zor say table per mara. Mujhay bahut ghussa aaya aur haath ghumaya. Haath us ko nahi laga lekin jo hua woh bahut bura hua. Meray haath ki ek ungli us kay samnay walay daant ko lagi aur woh chip ho gaya. Mujhay usi waqt rona aa gaya.. Woh bhi zor say ronay lagi.. Aur may bhi ro raha tha..baar baar us kay daant ki taraf dekhta aur haath laga kar dekhta kay kahin aur to koi zakham nahi aaya. Allah jaanta hay yeh may nay qasdan nahi kia tha...Haleema bhi sab kuch dekh rahi thi. Haleema ko aaj bhi woh waqia yaad hay. Main aaj abhi apni us harkat ko regret karta hoon. Main nay usi waqt apnay dentist ko phone kia aur kaha kay emergency hay. I need you to check her up. Dentist nay kaha kay usay lay aao. Lay kar gaya to unhon nay us ka xray kiya aur kaha keh kuch damage nahi hua hay aur yeh chip woh abhi theek kar daingay. Woh daant ka chip to theek ho gaya aur khuda ka shukr hay koi serious damage bhi nahi hua lekin woh jo us kay dil per chip laga ho ga woh? Abhi to pichli maafi bhi nahi mili thi aur tu nay yeh harkat kaisay kar di… may bar bar khud say yahi sawal kar raha tha. Yeh mujhay kia hota ja raha tha… kiyoun meri bardasht khatm hoti ja rahi thi…. Haleema ko kia bataon ga kay yeh mainay kia kiya? Apnay aap say nafrat si honay lagi thi. Mujhay pata tha kay kulthum in sab cheezon ko kabhi bhi nahi bhoolay gi.. Aur kiyoun bhoolay.. Jab us nay mujh say shadi ki thi to in sab ka contract to nahi kia tha na….mujhay to us ko protect karna tha per kahan zabaan walay jhagron say baat shroo hui aur ab baat haatha pai tak aa ponchi thi. Mujhay ander hi ander koi cheez khai ja rahi thi. Main us ko kisi tarah koi badla dena chahta tha… Us kay dil ko theek nahi kar sakta tha lekin kuch karna chahta tha. Is waqiah kay taqreeban ek maheenay baad hamain khushkhabri mili kay woh pregnant hay. Mujhay khushi to thee lekin fikr bhi bahut thi. May us ko shop per kaam nahi karnay dena chahta tha taakay koi aur wajah na banay hamaray jhagray ki. Us ko kaha key tum ghar hi may raha karo aur apni sehat ka khayal rakho. Yeh arrangement ziada behtar tha… mujhay shop per masla to tha is say lekin it was worth it. Us kay kuch dinon baad may nay us ko surprise gift yeh diya kay Mainay us ka aur haleema ka indonesia ka ticket book karaya. Us ko kaha tum ghar ammi abu behnon ko mil aao.. Maheena ek reh aao. Us ki flight ka route Holland kay through rakha taakay wahan apni bari behn say bhi mil sakay. Mainay jo us kay saath kia woh to nahi badal sakta tha lekin shayad yeh us kay zakham thoray bahut bhar sakay.. Yahi soch kar yeh gift diya. Saath kuch paisay diye aur kaha kay agar aur paisay chahye hon to batana may bhaij doonga.